I just got home a few minutes ago. What a grueling day! What I did not know is my husband had a minor car accident at work today, he is alright but the work truck is pretty destroyed, this happened an hour before he got home, I guess it never stops.
I somehow got to my appt, that is the good news, I think Davit was on track, she is mostly about meds and really cannot help me with the other problems I have, I asked some questions pertaining too my worry and fear and she said to address that with my therapist, which I do, I dont think the nurse thinks he is helping me, after almost a year she thinks I should be better, she told me not to worry, worry is a waste of time, that I know, but easier said than done isn't it? Especially given the fact I have a unhealthy over-worked husband, and a special-needs child, and panic disorder, I mean how can one NOT worry at times?
I think she is just going to be about medication and thats it, She did not seem to want to get into the other things, the whole appt lasted less than 20 minutes, hard to cover a lot in that time. I want to change therapists but what if I get someone even worse? I have not had good luck in that dept, the nurse is good at meds, she would like me to go on an antidepressant along with the benzo, but is worried about how badly I handle the side effects and how ill it made me ending up in ER one night.
She did say to continue the CBT and medication, and she said medicine does not do everything {I know its only a band-aid} and to work with therapist, I am doing all the right things it seems why is it taking SO darned long too get better, will this fear and worry ever go away? or at least decrease? I feel like I cry out for help to these people I am paying and I get no anwers, maybe they do not have the answers, maybe its up to me, I am glad I went tonight but was hoping for more insight and hope and I did not really get that, am I expecting too much? Maybe this never really goes away completely, I just do not know?!
I did make it Vincenzia I just wish I could have more hope for the future, the really really good therapists cost a fortune, like $200.00 dollars an hour and we cannot afford that, thank God I have this site. I am trying to remain optomistic, maybe the nurse and therapist have helped as much as they can and thats it, I do not know? Well I made it tonight that is something to be positive about I just wish I got more insight about my condition.