My therapist just left about a half hour ago and I feel worse! My husband even noticed this the last few weeks, in fact I got the impression the therapist is disconcerted with me, after ten months more progress should of been made, he even made a comment about a ninety-five year old woman he sees for therapy that is doing well, she started a business at 50, anotherwords I think he was trying to convey to me I think my life is over at 50 and she began her's, I think that was his point he was making.
I cried through the whole session, and I do not know why! I explained too him even through the full-blown's have stopped the depression, anxiety, agorophobia and health worries still remain, he almost seems like at a loss at what too say to me.
He said to start a journal, with four columns; Identify the scary negative thought,{event} the mood I was in, and then a positive feedback for it, I will do that and hope it helps, he said I am trying to control things I cannot, and I understand I cannot control the future, I just want to be able to face it, live and survive it and go with it, I think he is worried about the depression, I look forward to his sessions but then I feel worse when he comes?! My husband thinks its because its wore out its time, but if he cannot help me I wish he would just say it and refer me, taking the money and not helping is not right is it? unless he has done all he can do. He says that CBT is changing the way you think, and I understand that, he said I have to do more work and I am willing, but its hard when you feel so tired and weary and down everyday, I know he is trying to help.
What do you all think? Is the therapy NOT working, is it me? is it him? I want so badly to recover, he says I will have to work even harder because I cannot take antidepressants, I need to muster the strength to do this, I do want to get better and I hope he realizes this, my husband does not want me seeing him anymore he said "waste of his time and of my money" but therapists are hard too find, especially one who comes to the home, without transportation till after 6:00 pm its next too impossible too find someone and I do understand that, people work hard all day they want to go home and relax.
After he left I started having left arm pain and chest discomfort, and starting worrying about my heart, which is strange. How do other members feel after therapy? is it helping? What should I be looking for in a therapist? and do I need one? Sorry so many questions, I am very confused right now, its seems like all his other clients are improving but me! I hope he is not taking it personally. What do you all think? I value you're opinion?
