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for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Sometimes I would like to send all the sunshine away. Actually, this may sound strange but I love when it rains and overcast, I sleep better and it calms me, I have a "rainmaker" white noise machine and that calms me, I use to love the sun but no longer.

Its good too know someone else sleeps during the day muselover, I would rather sleep at night but its hard. Like last night for instance my air mattress had a leak and I ended up waking up on the hard baseboard and I must of got up too go to the bathroom like ten times!? Like I had a UTI, I was having stomach pains too, it seems to never end, its always something.

I am trying to think positive Sunny and do the relaxation and not dwell on the body symptoms, my husband admitted I was a little better but he still thinks I am too worried about my health and his health and my son's and I am still fearful, it was nice too hear him say I was a little better, he wants me ALL better, believe me so do I! But are we ever, anyone "all better"

How are you Carmie? I hope the strep is better. Are the antibotics giving you side effects? which ones? I know in a few days you will be better, sometimes it takes a week on antibotics for me too feel better, but thats just me, usually most people in just two or three days, I do understand through, how are you having a bad time? Please remember they are making you well and you will be fine! I do not like taking them either, thats why I hope I do not have a UTI or tummy infection because I will have too take them, I usually ask for "amoxcillian" or "Keflex" I can tolerate those the best, I dont know the generic UK name for them through? My son has had strep a lot and within a week he is fine and you will be too, I prayed for you, I pray for all of us.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi Matilda:

Here is a little Maine sunshine for you

We actually had a snowstorm today.

Debora, I am actually having a bit of a bad time with the antibiotics. I am really tired and anxious. I used some questioning anxious thoughts techniques about an hour or so ago and it worked. I will try filling out one of those forms again. My sweet daughter is making me a cup of tea. I am going to try box breathing and watching a movie with my family.

I am inspired by everyone here and their stories. I know that I can get my positivity back in order to make it through this time. I know I need to rest and relax and let the antibiotics fight off the infection.

Again, I feel better just having typed these words.

Carmie

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 30

Hi all

Do you think you could send some of that Florida sunshine over to Museluver and I in the dark and rainy UK?

Kind Regards

Matilda x

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Museluver: Now you made me smile...:-) Sexy in the summer, you bet. I think it is the sensuality of warmth on the skin, the glow of tanned skin, etc. more freedom without a lot of layers on. As for winter sensuality, that's the soft sweaters and leathers and suedes and firepaces, and cuddled up in fur feels very nice all over, even if, however. we go for faux fur these days.

Sunny

glad I made you smile

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 59

I can relate to what you are saying Deborah, I hardly sleep at all and therefore could, if got the chance sleep all day. I too have become pale and wan and am tired of people telling me to get a good meal inside of me. If only it was that easy, that is one of my remaining goals to conquer. Eat.

It is yet again very cold, wet & windy here today, but I took the bull by the horns and with my new positive attitude to life went into town to get some grocery shopping, big mistake, so many people, the shop floors were all wet & slippery and being disabled I was slipping everywhere, I suppose I must have made a few people smile, I must have looked like a blond wet Bambi skating around the store. But if I made just one person smile then it was worth enduring the cold wet weather and my absolute exhaustion going out.

I feel like a totally different person when the sun shines, as I tan pretty quickly, as soon as there is a little bit of heat in the air, I am out in my bikini, hidden from view of course in my back garden. I don't know about the rest of you ladies but the summer always makes me feel sexy for some reason, anyone have an answer for that one? I would be very interested to hear your thoughts.

Well done Carmie on your productive day at work & Deborah don't worry about sleeping during the day, you aren't the first and you sure won't be the last person to do it, we must get rest when out body tells us we need it.

Sunny's sun also makes me smile, I thought It was only me that thought that but thank the lord I'm not going crazy.

Have a great day everyone, take each hour as it comes and enjoy each minute of that hour. As my old Grandma used to say, you are a long time dead, so enjoy life while you have the opportunity.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie,

You're idea was not silly at all it made a lot of sense! Sunlight increases sertonin which makes a person feel better so I should get more sun, the problem is it hurts my eyes now and for some strange reason since this panic monster came back I do not go out during the day much{I sleep during the day because I sleep so bad a night} I feel "safer" going out at night, and I know that does not even make sense, you would think a person would feel better and safer during daylight. I think its because I feel I look so bad, pale and sick and scared, and people have commented on it a lot, I feel I will not be seen too much at night, I know I have to get over that, after months and months of people telling me how sick pale and haggard I look I just go out at night so no one will see me! and I know that is one of the things I have too work on. Like you said baby steps, one day at a time I guess.

How are you feeling? That was so nice to hear you say talking too me has helped you, I rarely if ever hear that so that was so nice and encouraging to hear, thank you, its great you are working, you are brave and I know you will be fine! I so enjoyed you're post. I would of wrote sooner but my computer was acting up and I could not get online. I hope you are good.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 373

This might be a silly idea (I am full of them) but maybe you could make some goals about getting a little bit of sun every day? Even seeing Sunny's sun in her signature makes me smile.

It is understandable that you could have anxiety about being in the pool or being in the sun too long. You are talking to a lady who gets anxious about being too far from a water source during her running. I just watched a movie called "Running the Sahara" about 3 men who run across Africa. If they can do that - I should be able to run a 3.5 mile loop around a little bay without worry. You might remember that I did eventually accomplish that goal but I did it by running just a little bit at a time, taking little baby steps towards my goal - and some steps backwards. So, maybe you could try doing something like that.

Also, try not to worry about last year, Debora. None of us can have last year back - we have today and right now and this very moment - this is when we can live our lives. The actions and thoughts we have right now will prepare us for the next hour and the next day and the next week - and we have great opportunities for improvement in the future. Wouldn't you agree?

It might be helpful to know that I was feeling very anxious about returning to work today. "Talking" to you has helped me to feel so much better! I am going to work! Yay!

Thanks, as always for your honesty and openness, Debora - it is a vital part of this community of friends!

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

I use to be a "sun-baby" Carmie, I loved laying out and swimming, we have an above ground five foot pool, the unfortunate thing is when I got "sick" in January it continued through the summer months, the sad thing is I never used our pool not even one time! and I love the sun and water, I was afraid to go in the pool?! Isn't that strange, the panic really took over every aspect of my life, I remember one time I set my alarm for fifteen minutes to lay out in the sun and after ten I had to go in, I actually got sick and queasy and this is from someone who use to swim and lay out constantly, I hope and pray this summer I am well so I can swim and enjoy a little son, I was so pale all summer, I looked as sick as I felt, I feel like I "missed" all last year, does that make sense? I just hope this year is better, I basically stopped living last year and I do not want to live like that anymore.

I LOVE to read, I enjoy the "old nancy drew" books, for some reason they take me back to when I was a little girl, in my safe bedroom and my Mom taking care of me, these books bring me comfort and I love to read, I get eyestrain and headaches if I overdo through, I was reading a lot of books about panic and depression and I kind of put them away, it was almost like a "overload" of information, it got too the point where the panic became my whole life and I just could not bear reading about it anymore, do you know what I mean? I watched a movie the other night "The memory keeper's daughter" have you seen it? it was on Lifetime, I ordered the book, I try to read light things, I read Ann Rule last week, she is a good author but the stories were scary which I do not need. Reading is my hobby one of the few things that relax me, I will try to get the glass castle and read it. Thank you, I hope you are doing well you sound good and thats great.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 373

One of the things I love most about visiting Florida in the wintertime is how wonderful my skin feels after being in the moist air for even just a few hours. I can see how uncomfortable a day or two of dry air might make you feel. Here in Maine, when Winter arrives (which it has), I like to take a bit of time to hibernate with a good book. Do you enjoy reading? I took a break for a long time - only read books to the kids so I am reading best sellers from 2005 and so. Anyway, I just read the Glass Castle and I thought it was amazing.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie,

I just saw you're post now. Thanks for the cheery words. I had a fairly good day yesterday, today not so good, another bad dream when I woke up and that made me shaky, and I drank an extra cup of coffee because I felt so tired and I am paying for it now with jitters and arm pain and nervous feelings, I just drank a big bottle of water and took half my pill so I am hoping I will feel better here soon, its very very cold here and I guess I am not use to it, its like I am "allergic" to the cold weather? ha-ha.

I can see what my husband means about running the heat, he gets a dried up nose and sometimes slight bleeding from the dry heat and I feel kinda dizzy and headachy from it, our bodies are not use to it I guess, but it was SO cold here, I had a sweater, socks and slept under two comforters and was still freezing! and I use too live in Ohio where the temps would go down to minus zero! Its like running the heat made me not feel well. isn't that strange? maybe the vents need to be cleaned out. I am trying to calm down here and relax, the coffee did not help and I overslept bad. I guess its going to be up and down for awhile, I hope you are well. Thank you.

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