What I need and want to do right now is relax and enjoy my days between now and my next doctors appointment..So that is what I am going to do..Curl up on the couch with my partner and work on my crochet, go for long walks on the beach, and visit the animals at the zoo...These are some of the things I am going to do...Starting Now....
What am I most proud of. That is a thought question..I would have to say, that I have been able to keep a level head and my composer when talking to the doctors, meaning not letting myself get hysterical and breaking down in front of them..
As for the reminder..I am beginning to let myself acknowledge the negative emotions I am feeling..When I am home and alone with my thoughts I find myself afraid of what may happen and I also feel a great sadness, a kind of grieving..I am afraid if I let myself feel all the feeling I well fall apart and go into a deep depression..I am trying very hard to hang on to the positives in this situation..but it is getting harder to do..So maybe it would be better if I just let myself breakdown for now and hope that I can put myself back together again when I need too..
You have sounded pretty positive for the most part through these health concerns. Health concerns can be scary and challenging to face so acknowledge how hard you have worked. Remember it is ok to feel down sometimes. Health concerns can be challenging to deal with so please be easy on yourself. Again, it is ok to sit in a negative emotions sometimes and it is actually healthier to really acknowledge it, sit in it, then move past it instead of avoiding it. I'm not saying that is what you are doing but I just wanted to give a little reminder.
This is so true..With all the modern technology they can find most anything..Things that we would of not of know about before. This can be a double edged sword of sorts..causing us to make harder decisions than we ever had to make before during this aging process..
All the medical journals I have read on line about the condition say the standard treatment is kidney surgery..I am hoping that I have more time and that we can put that option off for a little while longer..They call this watchful waiting..That is what I am hoping for..I am just not ready to make a decision yet..
It's great to age, but the challenge is accepting our bodies as they become higher maintenance, isn't it.
For the right amount of money, there are people who will sell you anything to keep you going.
One of the hardest things of life is declining modern technology and accepting our flaws.
There's a grey area where our life's meaning and belief in a higher power are opposed to people with solutions which suit their pocket books, but not our view of a life of dignity.
I wish I had the wisdom I have now in the younger body of many years ago
I started this tread back on Jan 16th of this year..I can't believe I am still dealing with health issues..It's like we opened up a can of worms..I have one issue left to face that I know of on March 23 of this month..Hopefully that will be the end of it and Doctors and I can come to some kind of resolution..I really want to get this behind me so I can go on with my life..
This is causing me a lot of anxiety again this morning..Today I am going to try to find some type of positive distraction to engross myself in..So type of activity to take my mind off of this health issue for a while..I am finding this very hard to do..
Coming here and posting isn't even helping anymore..I don't know what to try next but I have to try something different..
Just a little update on how I am challenging my anxious and negative thoughts..
Still trying to keep those positive thoughts going...I am a little better today I think. Still need more tests though. Will know more than..Crossing my fingers and hoping I get well enough to have my scope done..I am afraid of the test but it has to be done so we can decide what to do next..I am sure tired of this semi liquid diet... though but keeping my chin up and a stiff up lip and all that..
I have two positives I am in no pain and I was able to relax last night and watch a dvd that I received as a Christmas gift, the tv series "Bones" complete first season dvd collection..a detective type of show with some try humor..I really like dry humor..So today I am going to try to add a little humor to my life...and watch another one of the dvds from this collection..I have heard that laughter is the best medicine..I think I'll take a little dose of that today... So today I am going to think happy thoughts and do my part to get well..
I have tried to calm myself from the problems at home. My son's teacher does not like me I can tell, she gives me dirty looks and thinks I am not a "normal" mother, I wish my son had told her about how I took care of him when he was younger and was such a good caring loving Mother, its obvious she does not understand, I know my son has to talk to someone but this was not the right person. My condition is very private and somewhat humilating too me, on this site people understand and can relate, others do not, I have never abused or hurt my son, I think he wants more freedom, he really threw my husband and I under the bus, and I refuse to discuss this with any school therapist, I learned my lesson about therapy the hard way and I do not want to repeat bad mistakes again. We are refinancing our home and I wish I had not entered into it. I just want to keep things as simple and peaceful as can be, but life is not like that I know there are stresses. I hope everyone is doing well this weekend, Hugs Sunny Red and if you are reading this Carmie I hope you are having a wonderful Florida vacation, the weather is just great here. Thank you all..
though but keeping my chin up and a stiff up lip and all that..
So today I am going to think happy thoughts and do my part to get well..
