I know that what ever you decide it will be the right decision and you have the skills to continue to enjoy life. I know this because you are just as strong as me and I am still going on and enjoying life despite 15 operations and a few missing pieces.
Hi Red: Just to let you know I am thinking of you and saying prayers too. I pray that you will receive the courage and the wisdom to make the right choice for you. I'm glad you are able to share this with us. Please continue to keep us updated, we care very much about you.
We will be there in spirit with you along the way.
I'm sorry to learn that you are faced with making such a difficult decision. The unknown can certainly stir some fear and anxiety and I am so glad to know that you are not feeling panicky. It sounds like you are taking the situation in strides, one moment at a time, and informing yourself well. These are all great steps in managing anxiety and fear. No matter what your decision, we are all here to support you through it.
Do you have additional support from family or friends during this time?
Thank you for listening and for your support this morning..I guess this is one of those bumps in the road of life..One thing I am glad about is that I found this site over two years ago and started doing Cbt..I think this is really going to help me now as I face these tough decisions, as is all the support I have received from everyone here these last two years. This experience has been invaluable to me..I guess there is a reason for everything and for every path we take..
I thought I would post an update on how my appointment went today with the urologist and what I found out..He seems to be a very knowable doctor and surgeon..and up to date with all the new cutting edge surgery. We discussed my kidney issues and he feels that I should have surgery..There is a 50/50 chance that I have Cancer and that 50% is a strong and serious number in my case because it has changed and grow in size over the last few years..If I agree to surgery we will try to save my kidney but that my not be possible because of the size and location of the mass..It is very close to some major arteries and if the arteries are connected to it we will have to take the whole kidney. That was my First choice....My second choice is to have a needle biopsy and see if we can find cancer cells if we do not find these cells we still will not know for sure if it is cancer or not and he would still recommend surgery. The Third choice is to do nothing and recheck in 6 months with ultra sound..Of course choice # 1 is my safest choice the doctors said because if I wait to long and this turns out to be cancer and it spreads there will be nothing they can do to help me once that happens..
So anyway the Doctor said that he understands that this is a tough decision for me to make and to think about it over the weekend and to call him next week and let him know what I have decided to do. So I guess that's what I will be doing this weekend..This is going to be a tough decision to make..For some reason I am not panicky..I am feeling kind of scared..I did read up a lot about it before I went to the doctor..So I am not shocked by what he said..I think I may be a little detached from it right now..it's easier to think about it when I think it in a clinical way I guess..I am a little afraid that once I make a decision and if that decision is surgery than I might panic..because it will seem me real to me..It will be more personal and not so clinical and there will be no way of detaching myself from the situation...
I am sorry you all had to read this and it is more than you really needed to know but I felt I needed to put down in writng in a attempt to make real to me..
We all travel down similar routes in life
I wish you the best
