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for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Debora,

Absolutely no need to apologize. You have done nothing wrong. You are struggling with anxiety and the program will help. I look forward to hearing about how you do in the program. It will take time but you will get there. I have no doubt.

I just got a little butterfly of excitement in my stomach thinking about all the positives that are in store for you once you get well into the program.

This is a very, very positive step Debora.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Carmie. I knew what you meant dont worry about that small typo I knew exactly what you meant. All your posts too me have been filled with warmth prayer compassion advice and information that I am grateful for and I will never forget. You have faith in me I know and yes I very much want too be that strong woman you are saying I can be, very very much. I know I must let the negative thinking go, I am trying to replace every negative with two positives I think that would help me.

Ashley, I understand what you are saying, and yes it hurt a little but as you said its because you all care and want me too get better and was not said for anything but positive purposes. I am doing the program and homework, I am doing it perhaps a little too slowly, I keep reading it over and over and perhaps I need too move on too get better results. I see now that I was going on and on and on too much about my symptoms and problems and fears and that was probably not helping me or other members and I would never intentionally do anything wrong. I will heed your words and just do the program and forget the problems. I am sorry. I know I was starting too get better a few months ago, less attacks and longer durations of days between them, when I found out I had to have surgery I fell apart and I apologize, it was scary, unexpected and unknown and I really went off the deep end, and I posted too much about this instead of journaling it, which I was journaling but maybe it should of just stayed there. I know CBT works as it has for many others. I hope soon I can post my progress. I dont want my posts deleted so I will wait to post positive program related issues. Thank you all for being wonderful to me.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Debora,

I'm sorry to read you are feeling this way. It is very clear that you want to get well. I know you have the strength to get well but it sounds like you are unsure of what steps to take in order to do so. Well I am going to tell you what we can do to help. The truth is the issues you may have in your life will all seem more difficult until you take control of this anxiety. So it seems clear that right now you need to focus on taking control of the anxiety. That is your first focus right now; try not to focus on any other issue. So how to take control of anxiety? We know CBT works. This program is based on CBT but it is also intended for people with mild to moderate anxiety. You have a choice. Continue to work on the program here or get outside help. It sounds to me from past posts that the most immediate way for you to find some relief is to work on the program here.

Remember the program does not work unless you do the work. That means reading consistently and also doing all the homework. Now I know you say you have tried CBT but I also know you are only on session three. I do not know if you have tried the homework. But that is the past and we are going to look to the future. Moving forward it is probably best that you start from the begininning of the program and work on it consistently. Make a plan every single day to work on the program as much as you can. If it is only an hour a day that is fine but set a minimum for yourself. Each time you work on the program do something you enjoy. Give yourself a reward each time you work on it.

The program will help you set goals and start to get well. Do not look into the future; do not try to figure out why things are the way they are; do not try to solve any other problem. All you have to do right now is focus on the program. Nothing else. This is the one thing you can do that will eventually lead to results.

Now Debora, I am going to have to give you some tough love and it may hurt a bit but it is only because we care. Unless your next postings are talking about work you have done on the program (perhaps a schedule of some kind) or anything program related then you will not be allowed to post in the forums. I know this may sound scary for you but it isn't. Just think all you have to do is the program. All the other problems can wait. Just focus on the present and your present has to be this program. So to be clear if your next postings does not talk about the program then it will be deleted. This forum is intended for people to talk about the program so that is what you will be doing.

I hope to hear from you soon and any little tidbit you learned in the program. I know it will be hard at first but each day you will make a little progress and eventually you WILL get better.

You can do this.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 373

Sigh - I meant to say it cannot be easy (not can be easy). Sorry for the confusion. I really need to proofread my posts - a midyears resolution.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 373

Debora:

It can be easy to fight every day as you do but I have seen in you a very strong woman who would do anything for her son. It is that woman who can get you back on path to getting well. I see her in your posts when you talk about what you do NOT want to happen. It is that spirit of fighting and NOT making excuses and NOT letting negative people bring you down that will help you. You are stronger than your negative thoughts and the negative things that people are telling you. They are not helpful.

The only way that I know to break bad habits is to replace them with good ones. I think that in order to bring changes to your life, you have to wake up and do things differently. If something is not working for you, try something different. Change will come to you. I hope you won't give up and accept things the way that they are.

I see you swimming in the pool and smiling. It doesn't have to be that far away. I hope that you'll share something new and different and positive that you tried this week. I just hope you'll continue to share with us. I care about you and I am wishing you well every day.

Carmie

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hello Everyone,

I did not write for a few days I have been in a very bad way and I started too think that perhaps I am, and not on purpose, scaring other members and that is the very very last thing I want too do. I dont want other members to hear what a wreck I am and think they might go down as far as me, and scaring or hurting anyone especially with this disorder would be the last thing in the world I want too do, I know they are scared and suffering and I would never wish too add too that by my scary posts.

I once told my sister that I tried everything meds, therapy, CBT, prayer etc....and she replied "sometimes nothing works Deb" and that was probably not a good thing too say too me but it has stuck in my head, I have tried everything and the progress has been so slow if at all and now this surgery thing which I cannot deal with and have gone into denial about, plus I need to see a dentist, but these things right now are too overwhelming for me, so I have just tried not to deal or think it.

I have lost a lot due to this disorder, my health, my friends, certain family members and the respect of my husband and son, and if I knew a way to turn that around I would, I would not wish this on anyone and I pray for us all to recover very soon.

I guess my question is, if "nothing works" as my sister said, what do I do? Curl up in a ball and die {which I do NOT want too do of course} or just "live with it"? which would be brutal too. I think the CBT that I am not "getting" is due too the extreme negativity around me, everyone in my life has told me how "bad" I have become, not self-control, no strength, no hope etc....... I am trying so hard to follow Sunnys advice "let go and let God" and I have prayed so hard, I have stopped praying to get healed now I am praying just for the strength too accept this cross, Fourteen months is a long long time too go through this and I dont want this too go on another fourteen months. Can CBT "work" when you are physcially sick and everyone in your life tells you "you are never going to get well"? I so want too think positive, the negativity is so ingrained in me.I know there must be an answer I just have too find it. Carmie and Sunny and Hugs and Red and Bren and Hugs and everyone else have been so supportive and kind too me and I appreciate it. Davit warned me about this negatiave thinking months ago and I really thought I could turn it around. Can CBT still work for me? I need to find my faith and hope.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Deb,

A simple way to start is to tell yourself one line that you wrote - do so in front of a mirror. Something like

"I will not think about the 'what-ifs' today". Repeat it as many times as you need to! Great to hear all the encouraging words you would say to yourself!

Vincenza, Health Educator

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

that is a good question Vincenzia. I am having a very bad day today but I will try too put that behind me to write this, I understand what you mean. I imagine I would tell a person like me suffering from this is that not too give up, keep trying to live and try things to get well, pray, reach out for support, dont what if or make things worse with scary obessive thoughts, breathe, do the panic program, walk, eat good, and dont give up and never stop trying too get well. That is probably what I would say.

I only wish I could self talk myself like that and that it would work. the upcoming surgery has slam dunked me and now I am having some other health issues I will post on the other fourm. I understand what you mean Vincenzia, now I have to try to do it too myself.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1853

Debora,

I wonder, if you could give yourself advice and support, what would it be? What would you tell yourself?

Sometimes, stepping outside of ourselves and our situation helps gain perspective. Hopefully it will bring certain aspects to light. For example, alternative approaches to seeking help or small changes to your daily routine?

Vincenza, Health Educator

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie and Red,

Thank you for writing me. We had a problem with my son earlier and I could not write. He wanted my husband to take him to and from a game kind of far away and we tried to explain he had oral surgery today and was bleeding and in pain on pain killers and could not drive and he took off behind our backs! I am very nervous now, I just hope he has a ride home I do not need him special needs wandering around in the dark in a bad area, it seems to never end! I am trying too breathe and not get panicky, I love my son very much but I cannot believe the bad judgement he showed, I dont ever want my panic to cause him to stay home and miss life but its not safe if my husband has to drive on pain killers, the stress in the home is very high, my husband is physcially ill and I am physcially and emotionally ill and its hard with a special needs child, I try so hard to think up and positive but it seems like every day is panic,stress and negativity. Its hard to find positives, it helped when you said "everyday is a gift" Carmie, I have to keep thinking that no matter how scary and bad things get, and I will look into the patch, I have to have a physcial soon with my primary and I think he can prescribe it, I just have to make the appt soon.

Red I do agree I need assistance right now, Samantha is right, I just do not know where too look? I just ended a year of unproductive and unhelpful therapy and it got ugly as you probably read my other post, and the christian counselor I saw also hurt me, she saw me three times and then said she was leaving town and never referred me out or checked back, and that was out of pocket which was so expensive, twice I have tried and twice it has turned so sour, I so want assistance but I dont know where too look, I keep picking the wrong person who not only does not help but makes things worse, I almost am afraid to try again. At least on this site I know you all care and dont want money or will try too hurt me, maybe all the assistance I need is here. I do know one thing before I even consider surgery I need to "come up" mentally, they will never do the surgery with my BP so high and panic like this and I dont blame them, I just pray that comes soon, its been so so long. I am trying to let go and let God Sunny I really am. If this cannot go away I just pray it can decrease some so I can function.

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