You demonstrate incredible strength and courage and are undoubtedly inspiring to friends & family, including your PC family! Continue to rejoice each day as it comes and honestly living in the moment.
Thank you for sharing your journey Red. Your words are truly moving.
I have made some progress today and am getting closer to having all my ducks in a row..Just taking it one step and one task at a time. These things sure do take time..All my appointments are set and I should be ready by April 24th for my April 30th surgery.
Anyway one thing I am learning from all of this is to rest and relax when I can..I have 3 days before my next appointment so I am going to take advantage of it and rest up in the mean time...Then 3 more appointments to go to and than thats it..I will be ready..Thank God! With 5 days left to spare to unwind and relax..This sure has been a long list..boy am I tired! This little rest is going to be my much needed and deserved reward!
Back from my little trip it was very peaceful. It give me some time to relax and also some time to think about things..
So here I am continuing to work on my plan of acceptence..I have a appointment with my attorney next week to get my affairs in order before my surgery. It has been a bit trying for me but I find it is harder for some of the people close to me to accept than it is for me..At this point this is the one thing that is causing me the most stress and sadness. So I am working on letting this part of it go for now..I can not control how they feel..I do understand that they may be having a hard time accepting the role changes and life changes that my situation my bring to them..I did say at the beginning of this thread that I was also hoping that others would come to accept these changes too..I know they are dealing with their own feelings of grief, anger and fear of what is happening or might happen at this moment..I read about death and dieing by the author who first came up with the stages of this process also know as the stages of grief and how it affects others who are grieving or have a sick relative, not just the patient...I understand this process and have been on both sides of it but it is still hard for me and everyone who's involved..
I am hoping that we can all make some kind of peace with it and my situation before my surgery..I want to go into surgery as positive as possible on that day..At the moment I am a little sad about it all..As I am sure everyone else is too..We just show it in different ways..So I will try to remember that and try to not let it make me sad or take it to personally..
For me part of this acceptance is letting go of the negative thoughts and fears and living in the moment. The hear and now.
Enjoying my life to the fullest now. One of the tokens that I am going to use is a quote..
"This is a day the Lord has made, I shall be glad and Rejoice in it"
And of course my favorite...
The Twenty-Third Psalm...
I have been to the meadow in my dreams and it is the most peaceful and beautiful place I have ever been or seen..I have never forgotten that dream and have thought of it often. I will carry it with me always..
I realized the importance of acceptance upon waking.
Thanks for that.
My parent has this old tattered bathrobe which I can't convince her to discard(it's actually my own). She doesn't wish to have her new one altered(doesn't wish to pay the price for hemming). I realized and will have to accept the limits of my influence. My limits are something I need to accept, as well as my faults, which I cannot see, and have had for a long time.
I don't look at it much, since it's not from my religious tradition, but AA uses the Serenity prayer as an acceptance "mantra"
I need to open up to other religious traditions and their non-secular gifts
So amazed by your strength right now! Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts with us on this process.
In regards to tips on how to hang on to acceptance...Once you have a good sense of what it feels like to accept and the thoughts that go along with acceptance you can look for something concrete to help remind you of this feeling and perspective. Some people might use a little token they can phyically hold on to; some might use a sort of vision board or image; some might have a specific quote or song that has meaning to them. Anything really that you can turn to as a touchstone of sorts.
Upon waking up this morning I came to realize that there will probably be other things that will come up while I am on this path that I will have to make peace with and accept..I will need to remember to tell myself that just because I am accepting does not mean I have given up..I am just trying to make the best out of the situation I find myself in..This accepting is not something I can just do in a day and think it will be gone, it is a ongoing process..So my best hope to accepting the things that are causing me distress is to just take them as the come one at a time..and try not to worry about the rest..If I can do this I will be able to enjoy the days I have ahead..
