Thank you very much for sharing your experience with this test...It really helps to hear from someone like you who has had this test done and came out fine. Except for being a bit tired after it..
I was getting a bit worried and starting to obsesses about it with lots of what if and all..
Thank you for the prayers..I will be sending some your way too. One thing I do believe in is the power of prayer and the comfort it gives others..My self included..
Hi Red: When I read your post re: chemical stress test for the heart I wanted to let you know that I have had this test a few yrs. back. I was very nervous to have it too. I couldn't take any meds. that day at all. It was o.k. It was uncomfortable but I managed to get through it and was tired afterward. You are strong now Red, I think you'll do o.k. too. I wanted to let you know I will say a prayer for you to get through it and keep the faith.
Thanks for listening and responding..Your positive energy is greatly appreciated..
Well I got though todays round of appts and exposure. The Cardiovascular Doctor has scheduled me for a special stress test next week. a Dobutamine Stress Echocardiogram. Instead of a treadmill we will be giving me a drug called Dobutamine. This drug is like adrenaline (epinephrine)..
This medicine causes you heart rate and blood pressure to rise - your heart will work harder and faster..A nurse and cardiac sonographer will be in attendance..They will be taking ultrasound images before, during , and after the administration of the drug Dobutamine..This test is suppose to help tell the doctors where my problem is, weather it's the Heart or the Lungs. This test is a little dangerous so there will be a physician available in in department if something goes wrong..My partner asked the doctor about my heart racing to fast and my bp going to high during the test and the doctor said they have a way to bring them back down if they go to high.
I am scared to do the test but feel it is needed if I want to get to the bottom of my health problems..I never would of thought of going and taking medication and having a test that would invoke a panic attack with the possibility of having a heart attack or stroke..as a end result..I am hoping that does not happen and the test gives the doctors the information the need to help me..
Still sounds to be very busy but glad to hear soon you may have a break. I am also glad to hear it sounds like you are in good hands in regards to your health care.
Sending positive energy your way! Be sure to keep us updated.
Have a whole day of cardiology today..Cardiac Echo 9am than Cardiologist consult at 2pm..than back to the pulmonary doctor on the 15th for breathing tests..and of course the painters supervisor will be here tomorrow to assess the paint job his painters did on my front door and hopefully repaint it..My partner is finishing up the repair on wall in my bedroom and will be painting it later this week time permitting..Than maybe just maybe I can start taking care of me like I should be doing and start enjoying my life again..
Your interpretation could be correct and yes it is unhealthy and it did cost me my health..So I guess it would be considered a cognitive distortion..and that does make some sense to me..Feeling guilty for taking care of my self because I can not take care of everything and everyone else and myself too sounds about right...Even so I really had not choice at the time but I do need to make some changes now. My health status has come to a crucial point now because of these distortions..
Starting with this afternoon I have begun to make small changes..I had back to back appt and was running late. My appt with the pulmonary doctor for a consult ran late and she said I need to see a cardiologist asap and also have a echo done on my heart asap so I will be doing that on Monday morning. So I told my partner he would have to call and reschedule my appointment with the painters for a later date, that I could not make the calls about it and that he would have to do some of the calling and foot work to get the wall repaired that he broke..So he made the calls after we walked to the next doctors appt in dermatology for a biopsy..Than on to the pharmacy to fill a rx for water pills to take the strain off of my heart and to help with my shortness of breath..I have been told not to exercise until they have completed all there tests and know if it is safe for me to exercise and how much..The doctor felt that I am to tired and weak and sore from my kidney surgery to do lung function tests right now so she has scheduled the breathing tests for 2 weeks from now...She feels it may be a heart/lung issue at this point and does not want to take any chances with me over doing it right now.
So that is where I am at this point..Hanging on and trying to save my life..and trying to learn how to take care of me first and not over do it anymore..I really am not sure how to do this or where to begin..Today was a start..
It sounds like you are doing everything you can right night to care for yourself.
I interpreted, "I am responsible for everyone" and "I have to be the responsible one all the time" as a feeling that you had to take care of everyone all the time, no matter what; even if it is causing you to neglect your own self care. Feeling responsible for certain things is indeed healthy but when it comes to be at cost to your own health, unnessesaily then this is unhealthy. In that case it could be a cognitive distortion which makes you feel guilty when when you are taking care of yourself and not being responsible for everything else. Does this make sense?
So, you are right you certainly cannot change the past but you can work on the future. It sounds like you are doing exactly what you should be doing now.
Not sure but I think to have some free time once I get through all this and to be healthy enough to enjoy it..Self care will be my main focus once I get some time to relax..
I didn't know feeling responsible for everything was a cognitive distortion on my part...because I have always had to step up to the plate when no one else's would..You really have no other choice when you are alone and have no one person or support system to fall back on..Frank a counselor that I talked to quite a few years back said he felt that I had been abandoned by my family and that if I was a little older that he would have to report it to adult protective services..You see I was 49 then, now I am 57 and it is legal for my family to desert me still at this point..When I turn 62 it will be a different story. So there is really no one I can go to talk to or trust at this point..I sure don't want to cause anyone any trouble..I am not sure how to treat this as a cognitive distortion because I do not feel it is one..I don't think it is all or nothing thinking..I think it is how my life is and has been for most of my life..So if I want to challenge it than I will have to work on changing my present situation because I can not change the past or the people involved or a better description would be the people not involved who should be...or should have been..You can't change the past or it's reality..but you can try to change your future.
I am trying to change my future and save my life..this is where self care comes into play and why self care is so important now..
Well this is too much to think about right now...I would love to continue but I have doctors appts. to go to this afternoon so I have to scoot for now..
I am sure you know this but feeling you are responsible for everything is a cognitive distortion. It sounds a bit like all or none thinking. Challenge it as you would another cognitive distortion and find a new healthier core belief to replace it. It will take time but you can work through it. So easily said but clearly it is a lot of hard work.
Right now though it sounds like you have enough on your plate. Focus on getting through what you have to and the self care. This is number one right now. Self care! While we are on the topic of self care; what do you want to get out of today? What will be the gift in this difficult time?
No one should have to be the responsible one all the time..Thats for sure..A psych once told me that more things go wrong for you because you are doing more and taking on more responsibility than others. They dump everything on you to take care of so it seems like more goes wrong for you, but you do not have Charlie Brown syndrome, you just do more, there for the odds of something going wrong is higher..This same doctor said he felt I was suffering from panic and agoraphobia and that the stresses of handling Everything was a contributing factor..That I needed to ignore everyones demands and let them yell and scream and handle there own problems. I was not able to do this so the Doctor said my other choice was to take meds.. I tried that for about 6 months back in 1994 the outcome was not pretty..So I started looking for help online and found this site over 2 years ago and it has helped so much..but the problem I keep coming back to time and time again is feeling I am responsible for everything..
I know this is a bit long winded and I am sorry but I am screaming inside and looking for a way out of this self imposed torment..So back to answering your question about getting back to basics today..I have a lot on my plate today. Two doctors appt. pulmonary and dermatology..I also have had painters at the house for 3 days this week the job was finished yesterday and I felt really good about it..Last night my partner tripped and fell against the dry wall so today I also have to call the painters again and see about having the wall fixed and the room repainted..plus they need to come back are redo the front door because it wasn't painted right..So the Basics would be to work on this in small steps, make the calls, go to the dr. appts. and try not to get to overwhelmed with it all..and most importantly remember to take care of my health while I do all this stuff. This is a lot easier said than done of course..with lots and lots of exposure at once..I sure am looking forward to a little rest and would love it when things slow down and I can get back to normal again..
