Or maybe it's 7 degrees of separation...The idea is that there are more resources that we have within our grasp that imagined, since our "mental filter" screens out what is possible.

 

A talk recently stated that depression disables some of our ability to think(is it the "executive" part of the brain?..maybe the Health Educators can help out?) so we need help, or just can't get a lot done when this goes south

Good morning everyone,

I started my morning feeling down, but realized that there are positive people in our lives, more than my mood allows me to think of.  As I awoke this morning, I was ruminating over the negativity in my life, partially from negative people, but I then realized that there were some positive people too.

 

There's some theory that suggests our relationships to others or events, and i think it's called the butterfly effect.

 

All I know is that I needed something, and realized that if I changed my thinking, I could dredge up the resources myself.  An example would be that i needed a lawyer, and realized I had graduated from high school with two men who became lawyers(among others who became physicians, engineers, teachers, accountants). 

 

I'll bet if we accepted each other, as Bren and everyone suggests below(Sunny...), we could find so much more than our flawed thinking allows!

Sunny

It is good to know..iam not alone on this journey of mine...

Bren

Good for you and good luck with your journey into self acceptance..This is something that seems to keep coming up in my life too as I am learning to accept some things that I have to as I age. Like not looking like I once did and some things are definitely physically harder than used to be. Missing loved ones is harder for me during the holidays too and the season does seem to bring it to the forefront more at this time of year..I have been doing my walking most everyday now which helps take my mind off of things this time of year..It's my way of giving back to myself  for all the years that I didn't take of me like I should of..So maybe self care is the place to begin..Loving and accepting ourselves for all we have done, who we were, and most importantly who we are now. We do deserve to give ourselves a little extra care now that we can..

Red..

I identify with what you said.  I used to be a people pleaser and agree just to get along and do things I didn't want to do.  I'm 50.  As an empty nester, I'm rediscovering who I am and my likes and dislikes at this stage of my life.  I've been writing about some of the things I'm doing now on the thread, "I Took A Huge Risk."  I've recently lost 17 lbs. with 7 more to go. Are there things you've wanted to try that you haven't yet?  What helped me was discovering and writing down my values from Ashley's thread, "Using You Values As Your Compass" series.  When you are doing things that line up with your values, you are happier and feel purposeful.  I think a lot of people get down during this time of year.  I try to get out, every single day, and do something.  Whether it's a quick trip to grab a cup of decaf coffee or window shop at one of the stores, or go to the pet shop and look at all of the cute animals.  Just getting out, keeps my blues at bay.  I just started my own meet up group and hope to meet friends that way and I found a horse club that has socials and rescue events and I've contacted them to see if I can help.  I'm revisiting things I used to love to do, like be around horses.  There are lots of websites and books that help you come up with ideas for fun things to do.  I'm putting myself out there and getting back into life, instead of sitting on the sidelines.  I'm going to keep trying many things, until I find what I like to do and have enough to do.  I'm excited about the possibilities.  When I was 48, I thought that I'd seen and done it all and that there was nothing "new" to interest me.  Life seemed boring and dull.  But, I went to a serpentarium and was given snakes to hold and I was so surprised that I had a passion for them.  It was like being a kid that discovered something new in life that was exciting.  Then I went to Gatorland and held a 13 foot, 75 lb. Python around my neck and I was thrilled about it.  So, it sparked my interest in reptiles and I started studying about them.  So, if you try things, you may find new things that excite you, that you didn't know existed.  If you revisit old things, you may spark a rediscovery and enjoyment like I did with crocheting and knitting.  My cousin's Grandmother taught me when I was a young girl and in my late forties I took a crochet class and loved it.  There are so many free patterns on line to print off, that I couldn't finish them all in a lifetime.  I taught myself to knit, from books, and I love to knit tiny toys and found some fun patterns and I donate them to children at Christmastime.  I think if you find your values and abide by them you will be purposeful and find enjoyment, satisfaction and rediscover some exciting things in life again.  You just have to go out and try :)  I hope this gives you many ideas.

Your friend, Shari

I do hope i spelled that correctly....anyway,this is my new journey..self acceptance..

I have always had problems with that..have always been a people pleaser,caretaker,and care giver,to everyone but myself..

 I always seem to feel i did not fit in...given that,i tried to make people happy,no matter what it took,i tried to agree with everything they wanted,even if i hated it....today...i went with my sister shopping,yes she is much younger than i am,and she can fit into skinny jeans,and wears a size 4...and she is 45...i myself did feel a bit of self pity..i am size 14 and 65...there is no way i would even think about skinny jeans..but thats not the point....suddenly...i wonderd,were did my ZEST for life go???

I always seem to get down about this time of year..as i remember loved ones who have passed on,i teary eyed at times..but i do need to feel happy that i am still with my family,were all well,and in good health..some how..i feel iam at a crossroads again in my life....i do want and need to accept myself right now were i am in life.now.....were to begin....

Bren