hi again well this is only my first few days and i know i have along way to go but ive finally think im getting there, i came down with a ballance disorder last september and the anxiety that goes with it went throught the roof due to incorrect diagnosis and meds, anyway to cut a long story short id made this connection that i was losin control of my feelings ect and wanted to hit someone, after many month of counciling, ect ect ect, i found this board and start looking at things differntly,
why was my arm hurting was one of my question and why had i made this link between anger and lose of control?
the answer was a month before i came down with the ballance disorder both i and my husband had been quite violently verbally attacked in our car,the man who attcked us was big and tryed to get my husband out of the car.
through protection i was lent over the drivers seat from the pasenger side to stop the man hitting my husband, we were both quite shaken up and we spoke about it then left it. a month later i came down with vestibula nurosis (ballance diorder) for the anixty and fear of falling over i was put on fluoxatine. within 24hrs id had a nightmare about stabbing people, which when i woke let me feelin very vonrable. so got took off fluoxatine.
anyway soemwhere in the most vonrable months of my ballance disorder i had made a conection between the attack, the nightmare, fear and losing control. it was not till today that id made the important link that the feelings i was getting was not one of losing control or anger but was the fear of being attacked and i have been trying to protect myself and others around me.
so thats my first link that i am working on all this time i was thinking i was losing control and going to hurt someone, it was me subconsciously protecting myself and family. my arm still hurt through incorrect posture, and i still get the odd thought but i work through it and finally i think im getting there. xxx fairycasey
