Once again Sunny I agree with your words of wisdom, I sense I overcompensated with my daughter's after their father passed away, they felt happier being away from home, I took them to Cancun, I had never even heard of it but it was a long way away from our unhappiness, although they were only 12 and grieving their father they made so many friends there, that took their mind's off their problems and the reality facing them at home. Because I saw them happier and trying to enjoy life I took them over 22 times in 6 years, staying for up to 6 weeks at a time, it cost me an absolute fortune, I wasn't trying to buy their affection just trying to be both mother & father to them, I overcompensated, with material thing's and love which in the end came back to bite me on the backside.
I have always been a very generous woman, I would give anyone my last penny, cent, dime depending on which country you are in (you get the picture though), yet I am the only person in my family who never gets a gift, not for christmas, birthday's, valentine's, mother's day, non of the holidays. I do prefer to give that's true, it would just be so nice to receive something for once, is that wrong of me? This has at times made me feel worthless and unloved, and the old me used to cry for day's on end about it, for christmas I got no gift's, but I did have one daughter spend the holiday with me & the greatest gift I have ever received was that my estranged daughter told me she loved me, wanted me in her life and was proud of my achievements. If I never receive another gift again in my lifetime, that gift of acceptance & forgiveness from my daughter was the most heart warming thing that has ever happened to me.
Hugs, you were saying about someone in your workplace being in control and taking their control issues out on others I think, I am finding this with my partner, he knows about my past life, about the rapes & the attempt on my life and for the last rape & attempt on my life, we were in our relationship, he has gone through so much with me, and has been my rock, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him, to him I have always been, this tiny vulnerable woman, whom he could protect, when I was kidnapped, raped & assaulted it hit him harder than I had imagined and he needed therapy to help him, he still hasn't gotten over that, neither have I, but I won't give that animal the satisfaction of ruining my life. Believe it or not I wasn't offered any therapy.
I have mentioned in posts before about his time outs & how at the moment our relationship is on hold, I love him dearly and he is a wonderful gentle man, Davit told me that those that can sometimes have to for the ones who can't. I understand what he meant by this, we are having problems in our relationship and now that I am a strong and confident woman I can't help but feel he may feel a little threatened by me. He has only just begun CBT, so isn't thinking as clear as myself. As I was always very vulnerable I used to over compensate with him, I have already lost my husband, nephew, father, uncle, Aunt, foster brother and 2 very close friends, in the past 10 years and this has me terrified of losing him, it seems that every man I love I have lost and feel that this constant worrying has caused friction between us, does anyone have any input on this? I would really appreciate some advice, I have never given up on a relationship, I don't give up on anything. I am trying to stay positive, so any words would really help.
Matilda I couldn't agree with you more, please send us some sunshine & warm weather, we are having flash floods over here.
(sorry Sunny just borrowing it for a few day's if that's okay
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Thanks for listening everyone, it's such a comfort knowing you are all here
