After recently going through a horrible depression.I felt like I was never going to come back up.like I was ganna be under trapped forever.couldn't even leave the house.I was failing my kids my husband.and even though I never would ever be suicidal.I dont believe in that.I still worried about living in that misery my whole life.and not able to enjoy it with the ones I loved.I was in such a depression.that every day seemed a fog.like I wasn't even looking through my own eyes.me a person who never believed in medicine .was contemplating going that route. I was scared id lost my strength to overcome.ive been told the bestmedicine is love.and I find many people going from one med to another .and it only masking the problem.so I finally decided no I wasn't going to.god created me an overcomer.! That to every problem theres a root and a solution and ALTHOUGH truly healing from pain that weve been through.and rebuilding ourselves our minds our habits is probably one of the top hardest things you will ever do.that I was going to.Iwas already at the bbottom I had already reached the point of breaking down.so I had a new page and I could rewrite it.I had the power.and it wasnt over till I died.and I decided id fight even if I had to for a long time to eventually let go of my fears and get strong enough to love life with all its difficulties.ironically the darkest depression ive ever been in is making me the strongest person ive been in a long time.alot of it was acceptence.accepting the past.and what ive been through.accepting if I die I die.if I pass out I pass out .if whatever happens happens ill get through it some way some how and something better will come along.looked at all ive already been through and the fact im still alive and here .and realized I only have one life.one life.to be happy.to enjoy.to see the true beauty of this crooked life.because there is alot to be happy about and theres alot of beauty.despite the evil.I hope one day to become a councler of some sort.and help people see they have the power inside to do anything they put there mind to .if they believe.and push .its not ganna be easy itll be hard it is hard life is hard.but when u find the small beauties in in .the small joy .you may find some comfort here.
Just before I found this program I was already forcing myself to face fears! I actually drove 2 hours away and home when I had extreme fear and panic of leaving hone.also have started running even with my fear of passing out even though I never have lololol.man does the mind play trick.its great to feal tbat this program is reteaching us what we already know inside.im glad I was already on the right path.tells me I can do it! We all can! If we really want to!ive delt with extreme anxiety panic disorder agoraphobia alot of my life.but something has told me we are built to keep going and survive to fight .with god nothing is impossible!and im starting to believe that actually believe that! Its an amazing feeling to know for the first time in my life I wont only cope and deal with agoraphobia.but I will conquer and overcome it!
