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for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 60

Hi Ashley, this week I started new gym. I´ts more cosy, the 2 monitors that worked there started a conversation with me. In the other gym in 2 years monitor never started a conversation with me or if I need any help.

I feel a little bit more welcomed there. :) Also had a lot of help from a new collegue with weights.

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Agua,

Perhaps the people you are meeting at the gym are not the right kind of people to be friends with? I don't think it has anything to do with your personality. When someone is being rude to you it normally does not have anything to do with you as a person.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 60

Hi Ashley, I don´t know what´s happening to me, because I can do what you said, talking with collegues or with monitor. But nothing change with time, I do not get more and more relaxed.

That makes me think, and seeing, that I´m not interested talking with this persons, I think it´s too booring. I can not find interesting talking with every persons like some very social people like to do. I think this is not a problem.

I think my problem is, when I get curious and would like to meet 2 or 3 persons of my gym, but don´t know how to reach them. I already tryed to do small aproches, but can not make evolution. And my mood it´s too low, so I feel I do not create interest to attract people to me. They do not try to make any aproach to me, after my efforts.

Also my mood atract low mood of others persons too. I feel I make others people decrease their mood too, because I see they are nice to everione and to me they don´t have problems being more rude. For example one girl wanted to go to my workout machine, and she was rude asking why I don´t go to another machine or change my exercices (so that she can do their without having to wait for me to finish), I see this young girl distributing smiles to everione, so I got surprised with that atitude.

Other girl that is very social and everione likes, became my friend there, now starting depreciating my physical aspect. Even she told to me I´m old. When I´m with very good aspect with a good gym outfit, she compliment me, but then she put me a defect on my physical body.

Don´t know, but I see people are very confortable, saying rude things to me. May be I have a caracteristic personality for bulling?

I´m trying and working to create more positive situations for me, I need to increase my mood, to stop this negative cicle it´s happening to me. But it´s very tyring.

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Agua,

I am sorry you are feeling left out. That can really have an impact on your mood. If you think going to a new gym will help then I suggest you give it a try. But I think it will be important for you to plan your entrance into a new gym. Plan out small goals for yourself. For example, maybe you can set a goal for yourself to speak with at least one new person a day? Or maybe ask one question to an instructor once a week? The more you push yourself the easier it will become and you will likely start to feel more integrated. It will feel uncomfortable at first. This is normal. Each time you go to the gym try to focus on one positive what happened. You might want to check out our sister site www.depressioncenter.net. There are worksheets and info on this site that will help you to see these new situations as positively as you can. Looking at a situation positvely can make a huge difference in your mood and even in how you interact with others.

Please keep us updated on this and your new goals. I would be very interested to read about your experience.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

I've been at a gym much longer, and didn't make friends, until I met someone outside the gym and we met at the gym again. I think I could have used personal exposure work. Also, I was told it was "me", and intentional. What scares me is that I'd have to "keep up" the relationship, and I don't know what I'd say...but that's me.

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 60

I´m at a gym around 2 years. A few times I thinked to give up and go to another gym, but now I´m thinking more seriously. I see all the people talking to each other, and me, I only talk with one girl. I feel very bad. When I´m doing my exercices I´m ok, but when I need to do rest time, I don´t know were to look, feel embaressed.

It´s too much time to not feel integrated, because there always the same people there, I should be integrated with them. But because of my anxiety I can not relax and make connection with others. I can try talk, and I´m very good at it, but the only thing I´m doing is theatre. I can not make an evolution with people there and feel more and more integrated and relaxed.

I think my gym isn´t very cosy too, because even monitor, not only one time in 2 years asked me if I need any help. I have to study exercices for myone on youtube.

I feel I have reasons, like a comun girl, to change gym. But I don´t like the feeling of giving up, I´m very disapointed with myself of not been integrated socialy there.

I feel, I wasting my time there, may be in other gym I´ll find more empaty with new persons and will be more easy for me to integrate.

I was already in other gym for 3 months before this one and I feeled much much better there.

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