Thanks for all your replies. After chatting to my community psychiatric nurse I seem to have established a pattern, and strange tho' it may be it stems from talking about my ' condition'in a formal situation, a bit like dragging it all up again. I volunteered to take part in a survey for the charity MIND , and met with them earlier in the week, and discussed my treatment and care with them. I also had to discuss it with my boss as I've only just recturned to work and he needed to know what H&S issues might be appropriate. My last panic attack was just after discussing my illness with a pschiatric nurse last September, so there does seem to be a pattern definately. My cpn had breast cancer last year and after being given the all clear volunteered to counsell, but found that she couldn't do it as it was too close, and I think its a bit like that. So I will take on board what most of you have said , don't analyse it too much, or think about the reasons why incessently, and know that recovery does mean blips. I think I have been so anxious to be 100% better that I'd convinced myself that I'd recovered, rather than recovering. So listen to your body saying you're tired, set small goals, and accept the odd set-back, it does not mean that you'll be ill again to the same degree. Thanks everyone, you helped.