Cara
Did this disagreement trigger memory of other disagreements? When it does this you don't want to block them because they are associated memories and you don't want to leave them in memory as negatives. Especially if you lost. Or what happens most often is you are right but can't win. If this happens over and over you will build a core belief that this is what is supposed to happen. Which although true is disturbing enough to cause anxiety. Acceptance is the answer here if there is nothing you can do. Accept you can do nothing about it so it is not important. "it is not important" (even though it is) is the counter core belief that you want to bury the negative one with.
Often losing or having something crappy happen could be shrugged off if it wasn't for the fact it opens other similar memories. Take for instance my falling down the stairs. It happened and I'm sore and I can't change that fact. What brings on the antsy feeling is thinking about associated things. Like, my plans are on hold (so what) Last time I did this I fell head first in a laundry basket (so what) Etc. ,etc. .But the bad one is the thought I could have broke something or when will it happen again. A whole handful of negative thoughts that grew out of one silly accident. And yes it is bothering me, but not as bad as it once would have. Life isn't hopeless, just that these things happen and will happen again. I have a choice here, I can accept that I didn't do it on purpose and get on with life or I can think my life sucks. Well it doe's suck, but it is all I have so I'll find a way to enjoy it as best as I can including telling all those negative thoughts to piss off and putting something positive in their place. A bit hard to do on an over cast day like today. (associated negative memories)
The only thing you need to let go of is that you have no control over other people so anything you can not change should have no influence or control of you. The other thing you want to let go of is that you got sucked into the disagreement in the first place. Were you right? Was there a chance of proving it? Yes, no? Yes would have been positive, no would have opened the negative stores.
Maybe you are ready for thought exposure. If anger is working you can probably do this. You said when the thoughts are not there, I know what you mean but actually you mean when they are not conscious because they are obviously in memory right. So if you think you are ready to do the exposure you look at each one of these feelings and thoughts and one at a time categorize them as realistic or not. Don't be surprised if some negative ones belong. Your just separating the real from the not real first to get rid of confusion. For me,"I don't like my brother" is negative but real and okay because there is just cause. After this you decide what you can do with the negatives to bury them. For some it will be as simple as using the "not important" core belief. Some you will have to go back a long ways to change the root. And some exposure is going to cause pain and this is part of closure, part of acceptance.
Can anxiety turn into some worse mental disease? No, not unless it is already there. Anxiety and panic are conditions that turn into disorders but not diseases. Bipolar and Schizophrenia are mental diseases with a chemical condition and controlled with medication, CBT is used to handle the anxiety side effect of having them.
Eating disorders, OCD and Hypochondria are all disorders and not diseases. They are all treatable when necessary but harder because of core attachments and the belief they are normal.
You recognize your anxiety doesn't belong there. No worries for you.
How do you bury it good. By convincing yourself you are doing the right thing. By catching yourself doing the wrong thing. By diligence and by a contradiction here, by allowing yourself enough slack to have the odd bad day without freaking out. Try to end every day positive. Try to end every conflict positive.Take the time to question the negative when it happens rather than avoid it. In time it becomes automatic and soon subconscious so you can get on with more important things.
Davit
