on Wednesday i had a meeting about returning to work. to cut along story short they insisted i was to return or face action would could result in me losing my job. ( i work with people with special needs).
on thursday i woke up very apprehensive, but i throught after five month suffering with anxiety/panic attacks, i needed to stay focused on my jouney to work, i decided to take a book, so if anything was to come on, i could distract myself.
i got there with small amounts of anxiety which i could deal with.
during the day, i felt distracted from the worry and anxiety i had been suffering from, for the first time in ages i was feeling normal again. i even started to enjoy myself. but occassionally i would think negative thoughts, which i would overcome with postive thinking
at the end of the day, i felt relieved it was over on the way home i was very tired and had major anxiety and the sense of unreality, this didnt lead into an attack but i knew i needed to get home quick, before it did!! ( i know, negative thinking, but i was to tired to overcome it, well thats what my brain was telling me)
i arrived home and went to bed.
on friday much the same as thursday, but i was more relaxed, i even managed to go for a drink, an orange juice as im not drinking anymore.
today is sat and ive got my kids still not relaxed but dealing with life again, building confidence day by day.
my only worry is im scared of any more relaspes and think they are just around the corner. staying focused is so mentally draining.
any advice on staying focused and moving forward.
thanks for all the advice and help
bernard
