Katie, Yes I have felt exactly the same way you have, in fact just recently I had a setback and relapse, and thought dying would be better than living in the panic and depression black hole, you do NOT want to die, you want to get better and feel normal and I completly understand your fear. The thing to remember is this will pass, you will have good days and bad days, I understand it gets so bad that thoughts of dying will crop up in one's mind but you will not die and you will survive and get better, take a walk, take a nap, pray if you do and please remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I suffered very badly a few years ago and quite recently have a major setback, the thing to hold on to is you are not alone many many people feel just like you do and these thoughts are common when feeling so bad. Do you take medication or see a counselor? It also helps to have someone to talk to, I am sure others will post help and replies. Please let us know how you are doing. Debbi.
