Cara
That is the easy way out. See, no work. Just have anxiety and you were right, you will never be free. But it is a lie and you know it. Anxiety allows you a way out of anything that is proving difficult rather than just accept that life has become difficult and find a positive way around it. Watch out for this one. If you build a core belief that you can never be free then you definitely won't ever be free. CBT is simple, it is not easy though. Who you change is you and you know yourself, no one can come up with better reasons not to change than yourself. I'm not you, I'll just keep giving you reasons to. And the number one reason is that it feels so good to get up with motivation to start the day.
Here is my day as I see it.
I ache like hell today, ignore that because I ache every day that is a given. The sun is coming up it is going to be a fine day and I really look forward to that first cup of tea. Alternately: Yeah it is raining I don't have to water, I can stay inside with my cup of tea and watch it as I catch up with inside stuff. I can make that .......... that I have been wanting to.
But see I like a challenge and in so doing the crap in the day is less negative. And there is crap in every day. Some days there is lots of it. I use anger to get rid of it. I get mad, I cry at the futility but I never let it make me depressed. I might search the whole day for something good even if all that is good is that it is over and I survived. Even if all that is good is that morning cup of tea. That is the focus, the rest doesn't matter.
An example: When I used to work I'd get up at four in the morning eat a quick bite and drive for hours in lousy weather sometimes to be at work by seven. Often the only good thing was the sun rising on the mountains. I'd drive to work excited wondering if it would be pink on the tops of the mountain, would I see animals. Etc etc. On boring days I'd get to drink another cup of tea and eat a couple of cookies on the way. It was never a chore, even when I couldn't see where I was going. It was exciting because I made it so. I never let my mind pick out the negative. (almost never, bad days still happen, attitude makes them tolerable)
Davit
So why did I have years of panic attacks and why am I here. Because I let anxiety be a part of my life, because I let myself think that was how it was going to be. And I'm here because I was wrong. I want you to know I was wrong in that thought, I proved it doesn't have to be no matter how hard life had got and is.
