I have been noticing recently a pattern that I get into this thought pattern where I start to feel anxious and then start to research things to find a solution NOW. I research books, programs seminars, supplements and then I get lost in this internet search and feel even more pressure that i need to find the answers now or else I will continue to be trapped and not able to live my life. I have ended up with hundreds of books, numerous supplements, many medicine changes on my own and all of these programs and seminars. Then I start to feel panic if I cannot decide and cannot find the answers I am looking for. Then I feel stuck and become depressed that this will never pass. This happens weekly about different things.
Since starting this program I have realized that the feelings are the start of the panic cycle for me generally that I actually notice. Then I get fixated on finding a answer - another part of the cycle, (Thoughts)and it actually adds to the feelings of urgency, and I automatically accept that if I do not find the answers then my life continues to be on hold because my avoidance behavior depends on getting these thoughts and feelings to go away and if they do not go away I will have to continue to avoid.
Here's where doing the advanced anxious thought sheet has helped. It brought this pattern that I have been doing for years to light. It also showed me that the thought that I am thinking is part of the problem and I can help creak the cycle by changing the thought that I have to find a solution, now and it is not ok to feel this way and that I have to continue to avoid until it does go away.
This is huge! I have propanolol that helps with the physical symptoms but does not help with the thoughts, but now I am starting to see with this program I can change them, and the behaviors of searching for hours for answers feeling like my life depends on it, when really my life depends on changing the thought it a great accomplishment. I look forward to changing more and dismantling the panic cycle in my life and becoming more ok with the feelings.