Hi beautiful
If we look, we can always find people to compare ourselves with, but that doesn't mean that the things we suffer aren't very real and very important to us and the people who care about us. Go to your doctor and see what he/she says. In the meantime, you've made a great start by signing up here.
As to your boyfriend -- I could say that if he doesn't accept all of who you are then he doesn't deserve all of who you are but, while true, it may not be very helpful to you right now. You don't actually have to give him the whole picture at this very moment -- you've been hiding your moods for awhile, and it may be an idea to continue to hide them at least until you've seen your doctor. Once you know more about what you are facing, you can introduce him to the whole you when you are ready.
One of the thousands of pieces of advice that I picked up trying to learn more about my anxiety/depression and how to deal with it said "Hang out with happy people". It sounded inane at the time I read it, but there are downsides to being with a guy who understands you because he's right down in the pit of despair with you.
So, take a deep breath to steady that whirlwind in your head and know that you're not alone.
Take care,
Confused
