I stopped the train of thinking by stopping the internet search. I did feel disappointed, but at some time during the day, when I was doing a difficult exercise on a mat, I caught myself feeling similary self-critical, and just acknowledged that I'm human. I did feel a bit sad during the afternoon, before going to the gym.
There's a great marketing ploy trying to capture consumers with the hook that we're human, so we should buy some product or service and my life will be transformed. I think I'm at the other end of the spectrum where I postpone doing the simplest of things, and suffer.
An example is that I want to go to a yoga class tomorrow, but either I buy a yoga mat or pay per session. Buying anything for me is major, since I'm so indecisive, but today I decided I need a mat, yoga or not, to get myself to do more of my exercises for back strengthening. It's not just that I need a strong core like doing "curls for the girls" but I need to lug my tires into the garage for the seasonal swap(hurt my back, but I'm waiting and feel okay - but it's sweltering outside so a couple of more days won't hurt, since I don't drive much).
Very good, now how did you deal with the thought "I caught myself looking for the negative again"? With disappointment continues the negative. With relief that you spotted it is positive and breaks the cycle. Such a simple little thing but it will change how you look at future related situations because it will leave positive solutions in memory for you to access. I would make you a microwave brownie as a treat for this achievement. (super easy to make)
I caught myself looking for the negativity again, as you said, looking for the devil you know rather than the angels. There was a sporting event, and I found I was searching for the negative work colleagues, rather than the food varieties I was interested in.
One unhealthy way to see things, is to filter our the good, or look for the negative.
I did that this afternoon, as I admired my colleagues' work achievements, where'd I left suddenly. Then I wondered how really passionate some them were, and wondered if I would considered doing the same.
What's the point looking for negative stuff anyway, other than to re-enforce the negative and spiral into sadness?
