Welcome.
Bipolar is not as bad as it sounds. But if you are you will most likely be on meds for ever only because the Bipolar mind runs at a far faster pace than normal and needs to be controlled so the highs and lows flatten out. My friend "K" is on lithium and for the first year it was hell. Physically that is. A lot of diarhea. That is still better than panic.
But you may not be bipolar. I'm not even though it was thought I was.
Mood stabilizers work when SSRIs don't. Trimipramine is probably the most common and there are a lot of people on it. It works on a different part of the brain than SSRIs. I can not take SSRIs. They make me suicidal. They did not stop panic attacks either.
Ativan has too short of a half life for severe panic. Try one with a longer half life. This is only my opinion based on being an Ativan addict. Four years. Benzos do work on Bipolar anxiety.
It is very common for SSRIs to not work second time round which is why they recommend you never stop.
Statistics being what they are, bipolar people do commit suicide more than other groups. Which doesn't mean anything. But if you are bipolar it is a consideration. Depressed people are all at risk. I'm at risk and I'm neither. But I know when to seek help. There was over a year between being concerned last time.
Two things real common to bipolar are grand plans and no understanding of when to quit spending. and no one knows anything but you. If you are uncontrolled Bipolar you will tell me I'm full of **** and to get lost. Believe me you will. No matter what anyone says you will do it your way.
Here for you if I can help. But I will go away if you want me to.
Davit
