Self care is just that, taking care of ones self. Not spoiling ones self as so many interpret it. You can not care for others if you can not care for yourself. This is not criticism but a fact. And I am an excellent example. And I'm fed up which is a side effect of my slipping out of self care. It really came to the forefront today on the tractor when I noticed my coordination and care were way off. I broke some things that I wouldn't have and didn't care. It is the middle of the night and I can't sleep. In the morning this all changes. I go back to self care with a vengeance.
Before Karin came I was careful what I ate. I'm not blaming her but she is a contributing factor since she shops also. And I am the one with the problem although it may be hers also since she has chronic fatigue and diet plays a role.
Karin like so many people I know seems to be okay on convenience food and treats. I say seem to be because they have a different life style and attitude. I've been sitting in my garden wondering what the hell I'm doing and why. It is a lot of work to raise a garden and only eat the raspberries.
What the hell am I talking about? I'm talking about excess consumption of sugar and salt. And it crept up on me. Why? Because it does that. Not only does the sugar and caffeine interfere with cognitive function, driving the tractor for instance but it interferes with eating proper. And with it has gone clear thinking and any concern for correcting it. So I have a battle on my hands if I don't want to sink back into a life of despair and anxiety. Which I sure as the hell don't. I've been there and it was no fun. This is not going to be easy. I can not tell her what to buy all I can do is tell her it is killing me. We have bought more ice cream in the last month than I have in the last ten years. And potato chips and chocolate. All treats that have become main courses. And convenience food like wieners and frozen pizza. What the hell am I doing, I can cook and have been doing it salt free for years. My BP is up again and I'm overweight and my drive is gone. I have no energy and I ache. Sugar is not good for Arthritis. We won't mention the beer that was so nice when it was hot. We have two fridges which will help. Mine is tiny, just big enough for milk eggs and some cheese mostly with room for left overs. It doesn't have a freezer for ice cream. I'll stay out of hers. That is where the chocolate ice cream and pizza live.
New potatoes will be ready in the garden soon. Cauliflower is right now and beets need thinning. Squash will be ready soon. Cucumbers are ready and tomatoes only need to turn colour. And there are berries.
It is getting light out, I had better get a few more hours sleep. My treat for doing this is going to be one coffee in the morning which I intend to enjoy and it is decaffeinated.
Wish me luck, this will be hard but is necessary.
Davit
