Update: The deed is done and I am feeling relieved! This one act is going to relief some major stress and make my life a whole lot easier. I wish I had done it 7 months ago but I let my fear get in the way. I have done the exposure now and that's what really matters. Now maybe I can relax and take life a little easier after I finish up one last thing. A little follow up visit with my doctor on Thursday and I will be free again plus I will have more money to pay my medical bills too. Yes it was worth it. It was very good day today...Red:)))
Today is a big day for me with lots of mixed feeling. I have a appointment to speak with someone at social security to see about applying for my late husband social security on his work record. They require that you be 60 years old before you apply as a widow. It has been over 10 years since he passed away. I never expected to live this long but I find I am still here. Today will not be a easy day for I find my self thinking about and reliving the past which is inevitable for there are many personal documents required to apply like our birth certificates, our marriage certificate, and his death certificate etc. etc. etc. My life all wrapped into one neet little package to present to them. But it was and is so much more to than that to me. I would not even apply if the money was not needed. I hope I am feeling relieved once the deed is done. I am not sure how I will really feel. It is so very personal.
I have not really be looking forward to this day...Red....
Today I am going to work on mindfulness again and see if I am able to let my thoughts float off into the clouds and or maybe drift down a quiet creek like a leaf going with the flow.
Letting go is the goal....Red...
I decided to post a example of how I am managing my smart goals and setting boundaries. It is part of my process. Last Saturday I decided to go Out and look at furniture even though I was not feeling good. I had to come home because I got very tired and weak so I could get something to eat. I fixed a bite to eat and went back to the furniture store. I did not buy a new couch but I did decide on a color. So that was the first step in that smart goal for the day. Then the next day I opted to go get groceries and come home and fix vegetable stew which will last a couple of days. That was my smart goal for Sunday. Today I am going to go to the pharmacy to pick up meds,that will be my smart goal for today and then I will putter around the house and rest up for my visit to the dentist tomorrow for a cleaning/x-ray/exam. So as you see I will not be out doing my walk at the lake like I planned but I will be out walking during these days so this will meet my smart goal of getting out and walking more. Next I will need to schedule more dental appointments over the next two months but first I have a appointment scheduled already to talk to someone about applying for my social security in early march plus I have to have some labs done that same day and will follow up a doctors appointment that same week. So for now I have decided that I will schedule my dental work that needs to be done after that, then I will go back to the furniture store to look at couches when I am rested and able or after I have completed the above smart goals. In the mean time I will work at sticking to the boundaries that I have set with myself and others, always remembering to be flexible with myself first and making sure that I let myself rest when needed in between all these steps that are included in my desire to achieve my present smart goals. Small Steps Equal Success..When it comes to Smart Goals....Red:)
Hi Davit, Actually I do the same thing when it comes to Smart Goals being that I am also disabled. First off knowing my limitations and listening to my body and resting when I need to is a big part and first step in all of my new smart goals. Before I started working on smart goals I overextended myself physically and emotionally all the time and never really let myself rest. So using the calendar/planner helps keep me in check so I do not over do it. Like the medical appointments I have coming up. I scheduled them out over a two month period this way I will not get to overwhelmed and will still be able to rest in between. When it comes to physical activity like my walks I do not schedule these because it depends on how I'm feeling physically that day. So if I want to go to the store for groceries that counts as a walk for that day. If I putter around the house that counts as a activity too. I stick to one physical activity a day if I am up to it and if I go out to a appointment that is it for the day. Besides the outings are both physical and mental exposure for me for the day. So basically I am trying to pace myself and most importantly be in control of my schedule and life. This is where setting boundaries comes into play. Setting boundaries with myself and others that is. So that I can enjoy my golden years to the best of my ability..Red:)
I like the idea of smart goals to keep a person on track. But I can't stay on it because I never know how I will feel each day. Today I got done all I wanted but tomorrow will probably be lost. I spent too much time standing and now my ankles hurt real bad. My neck is pretty bad too. The mind is willing but the body isn't. I've pretty much accepted that I only function well every second or third day. On the bad days I putter around doing what I can. Not much some days. I'm proud of the fact I never get up to a sink full of dirty dishes no matter how bad I feel. I hate to admit it but cleaning has priority which is why I'm getting very little done in my shop. Todays supper took two hours to prepare and four and a half to cook. But there is enough for three or four meals depending on what I have with it. The slow cooker is simmering a base for soup tomorrow. In the morning I will cook the barley and add herbs.
Most days I really don't want to get up so I reward myself with a coffee that I have to get up to get.
Update: Still working on my Smart goals. Today I discovered a Planner/Calendar on my laptop and am using it to work on my Smart goals. This way I will not over book my self and therefore I will be less stressed and have less anxiety. This should be a great tool when setting boundaries with others with regards to my time and space and my availability. What a relief I finally feel I have more control over my own destiny. A psych once told me that I needed to control my appointment book and not let it control me. I was 19 years old than and didn't understand what he meant at the time. Now that I am 60 years old I finally Get It. Sure Wish I had understood this when I was younger but it's never to late as they say. This just may be my Saving Grace now that I am in my Golden years. They just might turn out to be Golden after all.:)))Red...
I decided an apple pie would be nice today, but sticking to some discipline I cleaned first. I also made a pot of chicken noodle soup. I made Rosemary Jelly too. So the apple pie is cooling and there is another shell in the freezer for some other time. The mess is cleaned up and all I have to do is bring in some firewood. I'm tired but feel good. Not hungry so I'm just having some pickled beets. It isn't much for a whole day but then it is about all I can do in a day. It is acceptable and that is the main thing.
Stopped raining for now. I do not like it when it rains instead of snow.
While working on my Smart Goals again today. I decided to add some exercise to my day and went for a walk at the lake this morning after going to bed early and getting 8 hours sleep last night which was part of this smart goal. On the way home we made a impromptu decision to stop at the local library after seeing a bunch of people standing out in front to see what was going on and found that they were have a Tai Chi Chuan class starting in a few minutes so we checked it out and joined in the class which I really enjoyed. It sure was a interesting and relaxing day outside today. I'm glad that I ventured outside of my safety zone today.
My world has just gotten a lot bigger....Red..:)
Richard wanted a copy of my booklet. So I got up this morning, lit the fire, had breakfast, took some pills set up the computer and sat down with a coffee to do just that. Four years ago when I did this it was difficult. It took a lot of concentration to print both sides and have the pages in order. First I print the whole 47 pages, then put them back in the paper tray in order so when I hit print again it prints the back side which is now the front side the right way up but one page off. I have to print out spare page ones. Divide the stack since page 2 has page 1 on the other side and page 3 has page 2 on the other side. Etc. Far easier to just Email it but he wanted a paper copy.
The fire went out, I'm tired now but I printed till I ran out of ink. It rained all day. It is going to rain two more days.
This project is finished for now. (that is what I said four years ago) It feels good to be able to move on to the next project. Back to the flower boxes. Good thing they aren't complicated as the plan is in my head.
