I remember when you posted that originally the day or day after. I figured then you were going to be able to do this. I'm so glad you are here with us to share your successes.
This is true a few months back me and my husband took my elderly parents shopping and on the way back home we had take a detour because of road works, my parents don't walk very well and this particular day my lightheadedness was really bad , but i noticed that when i was taking my parents across the road to safety i didn't once experience the symptom because i was too concerned about the safety of my parents , it proved to me that my thoughts make symptoms worse .
Adding anticipatory anxiety to agoraphobia makes it worse. It is anticipatory because you put a condition on it. (going out every day) It puts it in the realm of "have to" which is negative. Accepting you are going to panic is good. But doing it just the same still says "have to". The mind uses codes to decide which action to call for. Call them triggers for simplicities sake. Negative thought and positive use different codes and get different reactions. If you go into a lineup whether you want to be or not, if you are doing it because you feel you "have to" you have just triggered a negative code and you have no choice but to get the reaction that code calls for. This is carved in stone. Relaxation and distractions will reduce this some by adding other codes that call for different reactions. And you will manage, but manage is not what you want to do right. What you want to do is do it with out fear thoughts or anticipation. You want to be as calm as if you were in your house getting a cup of tea and a cookie. And there is no reason you can't be. The same fear is there in you brain, there is just no reason to use it to get tea and a cookie because there is no negative attached to the act that would open the code that leads to the panic reaction. You "have to" get up to get a cookie, but "wanting to" overrides it so that code isn't used. You could have done the same with the Agoraphobia by starting in the house with the thought that you want to go outside. Block out the thought that you have to. You don't, you only think so. You have to start slow so your mind gets used to it. You have to build a code to use and you do this by picking something simple that you don't like or don't want to do and say I want to as you do it. Say no every time the thought comes up that you have to. Because you don't have to, you can quit anytime. Get as far as you can without panic or excess anxiety and then stop. Try for farther the next day or later if you feel you really "want to". Each time you get a little farther you will notice a good feeling. This is positive coding. This is the cognitive part of CBT.
I'm a disabled person, some days are hard. Today I had a "have to" situation. A bill needed to be paid today. Not a good day, I was dizzy and tired and sore enough that I was not walking well. All good reasons for panic. But I wanted to pay the bill so it was easy. I knew I could have trouble and that was a concern is all. But I also knew I didn't have to so I went knowing I wanted to do as well as I could. It was no trouble at all. I have been using the positive "want to" for years now and it has never let me down. I don't think it can because it can only access positive thoughts, it can not access panic. If it did it would be because I didn't believe that I really "wanted to". Thoughts have a lot of power and even more control.
Davit
This is not just me, others use this too with success.
I had such a good day yesterday and actually have been doing fairly well lately. It's been 3 days since I have been out of the house which is not good. I've been trying to go out every day or at least every other,so I decided that my daughter and I would run down to the bank and go through the drive thru. Today has just been one of my anxious,antsy feeling days but I decided to challenge myself and go out anyways. The whole drive I was feeling anxious but I made it there and pulled in. There were 2 cars in front of us and it was really slow and the longer I sat there the more I felt the panic kick in. I still can't handle long lines or knowing that someone is waiting behind me,it makes me feel trapped and it scares me. I didn't fight the panic. I said ok I'm going to have a panic attack but I have nothing to feel anxious or nervous about. Everything is fine. I talked myself down somewhat and continued through the line. So I suppose it's a small victory for me but I want to know if any of you guys have the same problem about long lines or having people waiting behind you and if you have any advice or tips on how to help me deal with this.
