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Conversation with Haters (negative people) and anxiety

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Conversation with Haters (negative people) and anxiety

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2508

DAVIT..Hope your feeling better today and giving yourself a little self care. By the way one of your friends from the other site has come over to this site too and posted you a message saying hello and asking for you advice. I am sure more people will follow.. AQUA..Your doing great keep on going!

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Good for you Aqua You certainly are better than when you first came.

Davit.

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 60

Ashley, I´m tired of trying to understand others. She would not admit she was bothered with something, because she was with an atitude that she knows everithing about everithing.

Haters simple criticize and move on. If I don´t say nothing I will be ruminating alone, being assertive is a good think to decrease anxiety, and solving problems. I know I have to put limits on others to gain some respect and promote healthy relations. If I don´t say nothing, others feel they have free road to say what they wan´t and get very confortable to say what goes in their mind, without worring about others feelings. That happened a lot in the past, with lack of respect for my person. And I wasn´t abble to defend myself and saying for example "that will not be good for me, so I can not do what you want me to do".

For example my aunt invied my for a dinner. She tooked me to an alternative indian restaurant where the food was very very spice (it was not a comercial restaurant). I could not eat nothing. She was not bothered at all. Then we get out, was raining, and she used the umbrella just for her till my car, not worring if I was getting rain. I didn´t sayd nothing. I was left ruminating alone, how this person could to that to me? She donne to me a lot of things like that, like not paying me some money she asked for. If I had put limits at the beginning, a lot of situations could be avoided, and me not being hurt so many times.

This has been the story of my life all this years, with almost of people.

Being assertive is something that decrease my anxiety almost 100%. I´m getting the courage now to say what I think at the moment.

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2508

No problem Davit..Your welcome.

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Aqua, I had lunch with a couple, who were harsh, a couple of months after my mother's death. Only by doing what Ashley suggests by feeding back their effect, can we try to control the situation. Davit, I hope you come back to this site, and spend more time here, since it's sometimes pretty desolate. I had a rough time when I came to this site too, as a newcomer. I don't see the unwelcome behaviour any more, however, with newcomers, fortunately.

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Agua,

I am sorry to read that this time you spent with your granddaughter was disappointing. It is hard for others here to post about social interactions as we all do not know the intricacies of the relationship or the conversation. It sounds like something you said may have triggered her- this likely has nothing to do with you an a lot to do with whatever she has experienced in her life. It would have been interesting for you to ask her what specifically was bothering her about what you said. Perhaps share how her words are making you feel and then asking her where these thoughts were coming from. Communication with loved ones is bound to create conflict sometimes and usually it is related to misunderstandings. I encourage you to get a bit curious when something like this happens again. What do you think?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 9 år siden 0 +0 / -0 60

Recently I had a date with my goddaughter, shes´s already 27 years. I was happy to be with her. Everithing was fine until a decided to share with her that I recently joined a business group related with networking sales. I told her that I was liking a lot till now. That I was receiving god information for self development. Then I told she that one of the people of the group there is a sucessfull architect from our city, a very rich person almost a milionaire. (What have I said wrong?!!!) she replyed to me "Dah ! I know so many of them!!" Lol were? I thought!

Then bum, bum, bum she started on attack mode and started depreciating all the things I was sharing with her (not the absurd she never had heard about this company). No matter what I explained to her, she depreciate it. My thoughts were, she seams to not be happy of good experiences that are happening to me, why? jealous...?

I became with lots of anxiety, because it become a negative conversation. In conversation I could defend myself a few times in some points, but others not. I was sad with her.

Next time, I have to be prepared if I have any good news to tell, prepared to find a way to stop the conversation at begining and don´t waist my time and anxiety with these conversations.

It´s not the first time, with her or others, seams that some people don´t like to see others in good situations. But I will not stop sharing the good things it happen to me, if I desire to do it.

Next time, if I note that I´m starting bothering anyone with something good happen with me, I will try to enhance that good thing even more, and with a extra big smile, because I know that´s what bothers more these people. May be that´s a good way to stop their negative spiral about others people life´s. Better than starting defending myself, that will give me a lot of anxiety and at the end being sad with a friend or a family for days. That includes not being abble to sleep for days, because I´m become so disapointed with these negative people.

Other thing I wan´t to try is to switch the subject quickly to another issue, to stop the conversation there.

Meanwhile my anxiety are decreasing with these exposure work I´m doing, my big goal is to be abble to have a conversation/discussion and be abble to think with clarity so that I could exposure my ideias to others, not taking anithing left said to home. Because there´s a lot of silly people outhere.

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Conversation with Haters (negative people) and anxiety