About 95% sure after a 13 year search I found my birthmother. And it broke her heart to give me up. All the clues are pointing to the adoption agency and her parents forcing her into it.
Davit if you're trying to say I should be grateful for being adopted, please hold your thought. You aren't adopted and don't get to have an opinion on something that does not personally affect you. Should I go around to you, an unadopted person, and say well you should be grateful your parents gave you life? Why should only adopted people be grateful for things? The answer is they should not. It is what it is.
I can hear that you are angry about being adopted. Is that the right emotion or would you describe it differently? It is normal to have conflicting and even negative feelings about being adopted. What is making these thoughts come up so strongly right now?
I'd rather be adopted and loved even by strict parents than neglected by real parents, which I was. Using negative words like hate do you no good on the road to recovery.
I agree with one of your statements: the medical info is useful, but certainly not critical. Family does not equal blood. Your family are the people who love you and care about you. That is your REAL family. Does it really matter who you look like? And why would being adopted cause anxiety? Sure, there may be a genetic component to anxiety, but for all you know, no one suffered from anxiety.
I am not adopted, but I think you do your adoptive parents a big disservice not thinking they are your real family. They, for whatever reason, chose to adopt a child who needed to be loved. What if you had of grown up in foster care, going from foster home to foster home, never knowing the love and support of "parents" who love you?
Is this rant because you're angry at your parents for forcing you to prove you've driven beyond your comfort zone? Maybe they just want to help you realize you CAN drive outside your comfort zone, without anything terrible happening. Try to put yourself in their shoes....
I hate being adopted. It causes so much anxiety. If you're not adopted, you just don't get it. Not having access to biological medical information, knowing your birthparents were FORCED to give you away, not knowing who you look like, not being with your real family. It blows.
