Aingel:
I know what you mean when you said you didn't think you had it in you to abort. I got pregnant when I was 19. I was in college, working full time, and had my own apartment. I wasn't ready for a child. I didn't think I even wanted to be a mother. My childhood was so messed up. I was finally an adult. I was out of that hell hole, I was engaged to be married, and I was feeling free. I went to Planned Parenthood & talked to an advisor there. I was scheduled for the procedure the next day. I got there, I put on that backless gown and I went into the "Prep-Room". I sat there shaking and alone. Ten minutes later I got dressed and walked out. I don't regret my choice now, twenty three years later. It was the right choice for me. I have gone with another women while she had the procedure. It was the right choice for her. What you need is someone you can trust. Someone who won't judge you for feeling like this. How about your best friend? Is she/he someone you can trust? You are young, but you seem to be aware of what you're capable of. May I suggest you take your boyfriend to your therapist? Also, what was the outcome of the first bout of post-partum depression? God, I really remember the absolute horror of my depressions. I was terrified. Everybody expected me to be happy. I had a beautiful baby and a loving husband. I felt so guilty for feeling so bad. It took six months of misery before I got help. I wish I could do more for you. Barbara
