Starr:
I really think you should be talking w/a professional. What you're experiencing sounds frightening. I know that sometimes the cure seems worse than the illness, but in your case I think medication will help keep you in the here and now. Family and friends mean well, but they don't have the knowledge, education, or the objectivity to be of more help. My family and friends are very supportive. My therapist is more proactive. She's involved in a way that teaches me ways to identify and counter the negative thoughts. She's helping me to put my feelings and confusion into words. It's very, very hard and sometimes I don't believe what she says. I find it difficult to accept that what I feel isn't always necessarily true. I work at it every day, and now that I'm at a complicated phase they, my therapist and my shrink, want to up my meds. I've thought about it and I'm going to do it because they promised that I will be slowly weand from most of my meds as I progress. This process is very hard and extremely scary. Sometimes I just want to quit. But I have spent most of my life depressed and angry. Now I want to recognize happieness and pease for as long as I can. I hope you can do the same.
