Dear Try So Hard, It sounds like you definitely want to feel better but don't know what to do. Writing about your feelings here is a good start. It is also very important that you find someone in your community to talk to even though this is very hard for you. Is there someone from China...an older person, a neighbor or friend or minister you trust and could confide in? You need to find someone who would understand both you and your parent's expectations for you and help you to talk with them about how you have been feeling. And even though you say that you agree with your parents I think you are beginning to think for yourself which is a good thing. Remember, you are not helping your parents fulfill their dreams for you if you become ill. They could not want that. I am sure. If you really want to get into a good college the best thing you can do right now is get some help and support for yourself. That will help you even more than an A in Math. Trisha

You are not the only one who tells me to slow things down, to just take myself for who I am if I just am NOT a 4.0 student. I tell myself that too, but what's the use really. My parents imbued me with everything they want me to be, and I should be, practically ever since I was born. I finished elementary school in China and I know about the competition there, it's almost impossible to get into a good college. My parents brought me here, consigned all of their hopes in me... I am the youngest in the family, all my cousins are on their way to their ideal future, and now all of their eyes, family friends' eyes, rests on me. Some watches me anxiously, while some are just waiting for me to fail. I ask myself, what is happiness. Money is happiness, living a rich life is happy. People say money isn't everything, yet you can't live without them. I surrender my will to my parents, afterall, they succeeded in imbuing me with their opinions of happiness... and I know that perfectly well. Really, the only reason I am here in US is to get into a good college, so my parents, relatives, friends, acquaintances can be proud or jealous, and so can I. With a good college, my future is destined to be bright... Why not go to community college? Why not work some blue collar jobs? Well, one of my dad's best friends has a son. He didn't do well on his SATs, he didn't do well in school, he went to community college, and he worked in restuarants and still is. His dad gave up his job as a college principle, and came to US enduring all the hardship just for him, to go to a good college and become someone that is just not him right now. His dad's health deteriorated because of him, his dad wanted to divorce his mom because of him, and my dad tells me constantly about him so I can go on the "right track" and avoid becoming another him, another failure. I did not mention a sport because really, it doesn't matter, I cheerlead, I wanted to become captain so bad for the season but our coach ended up not having captains, yet she told me that me and this other girl are really the unofficial captains of the squad. unofficial captains, whats the use? I can't even put it on my college resume. I am taking 9 classes for next year, while everyone elses takes 6 to 7. I can't en

You didn’t mention sports, or athletic activity…that will turn you into a more efficient and energetic person. You definitely require physical activity in your life if you want to succeed. I graduated from two very prestigious universities, but I did not capitalize on this because I was depressed. This was not basically my fault because I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Looking back, I realize I should have managed my life differently, for example I should have kept myself physically active. Basically to be totally frank, you sound as if you are totally screwed up. Slow down, set priorities. Think for yourself. You will not be topdog in everything. Where do you get pleasure from life? Don’t just live for your parent’s expectations. You can achieve success in life. You can attend an “average” university or a community college and learn a great deal. Knowledge is just as valuable if its from a local college or from an Ivy League school. If you achieve decent grades in your undergraduate courses, you can take graduate courses at more prestigious schools. From my experience high achieving students, don’t really have to work too hard. They just find it all very easy. And they usually enjoy the subject matter and what they are doing. If you can, in high school, or in college, lighten your load, take some easy enjoyable courses. In college think about spreading courses out over an extra year. You don’t have to conform to all the standard routines. You might attend university abroad, in Canada, for example, or take a trade and then return to school. I spent years traveling and working in various countries while in my twenties…..an absolutely fantastic experience, that I could never replicate. I worked in some blue collar jobs and learned a lot about life. Why not work in a resort for a year in the kitchen, or the front desk. Learn to bartend. Study first aid. Pick up a few different skills. Lots of universities have special entrance standards for mature students. Happiness is in the journey. If you are not getting A’s easily now at your level of school, you have to realize that you are not an absolute great student. You are a good student. You seem to have an incredible amount of talent and drive. Channel it in the

when I first met my physician, I tried to fill her in on all the stress I am under, but it seemed to me that she was just trying to get the job done and so I just stopped talking. My counselor is nice, but I really don't want to disclose anything to anyone from the school. I'd feel really awkward, and I won't have time because I never take breaks during school (I go to school an hour early, then during lunch I eat for 15 minutes and go right back to work, and I stay after school for about 2 hours to do homework.) And I just don't trust anyone. I don't want to tell anyone I know about it because I think they'll alienate from me. This morning, I was on the phone with my grandmother, she asked me about school in general and I just started to cry. My mood just has been so unstable recently.

Dear TrySoHard, Welcome to the site. Thank you for sharing your story here with us. Please know that our support group is completely anonymous, so age is not an issue. You have been through so much. Please seek medical assistance as soon as possible for the concerns you are having. Your family doctor is a good place to start. If you are hesitant to do so, please consider speaking with a counselor at your school. Help is available. You may find some of the features of the site helpful for this. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find our Depression Test. This test is not a diagnostic tool and is not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. Casey __________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team

Hi, I am probably too young to be here, but here is my story... I am 15 and half, I started high school as a freshman this year. For the past few weeks or so, I've been feeling extremely down. I don't know how to put this because so much's been going on lately. What I am about to tell you might seem like a joke to you all but they had done me some pretty serious damages. First of all, Ever since this semester started, I haven't been able to get a single A in math class, and I desperately needed at least an A- in that class. I got one of my last tests back from that class and I felt weak when I saw my grade, a low B. I couldn't afford to get B's in that class anymore, so with no one looking, I added a step to one of the problems and brought it up to my teacher. My teacher found out right afterwards and got really mad in front of the whole class while I felt regret, pain, and all sorts of emotions. It was especially a bad time for me to... cheat... because I was running for class officer. That day, when I came home for lunch, I just didn't feel like eating at all, I just used my lunch period and cried in the bathroom. I am going to skip to the point, I told my mom about what happened when I came back from school and begged her not to tell dad (my dad is very strict), after she agreed, I just started to break down. I felt weak in the knees, I felt like I've changed so much during the years I've been in US. Before, I was always so... happy, and ever since I was in 7th grade after being bullied for a whole year, I've been depressed on and off till the end of 8th grade (I got transfered here last year). Well, 7th and 8th grade are another two long stories... Well, so I started to break down, because my parents basically sacrificed everything for me to go to my current school so I can get into a good college. I was so upset, I mean, what if I can't get into a good college? I am like the bet my parents put at stake, if I don't get into a good college, then my life will be over. And then, about 3 days later, there was the the class officer election, I prepared so much for it, I had posters everywhere with all the possible slogans I could think of. I didn't tell my parents