Gabbi,
My trip on public transport was a success. I went to a large shopping mall and walk around, had a coffee and then came home. I was out for about 3 hours. My next big hurdle is to be able to handle stress, and I think since it is the holiday season I will have enough stress shopping and maybe going to a party or two. Tomorrow I have my therapy appointment, which I am hoping that I can come out of happier than my two previous therapy apptoinments. I am also seeing my psychiatrist and family doctor. It will be a busy day.
Take care and I hope you are doing great!
Sharon
Im glad to hear you are feeling good i hope it lasts for you.I was sore for 3 days after playing netball hopefully this week i wont be as sore are you going to play again?
You have been busy doing all that painting way to go.
Goodluck with the bus ride you can do it let me know how you go!Gabbi.
I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself and for playing netball. Man was I sore after playing. My legs and back ache.
Today I have finally finished painting the main floor of my house. It feels good to finally accomplish something on my own from start to finish. Tomorrow I am taking a bus to a shopping mall. I am trying to think positive about going on the bus.
The last fews days for me have been really good. This is the best I have felt in years.
Take care - Sharon
Way to go Sharon thats fantastic.I was petrified driving to netball also but once you get there and get going you just enjoy the moment i got quite nervous when i felt my heart pounding but kept telling myself its normal im fine and i was :)I look forward to going again this week still a bit scared though but i know i'll be fine.
I had a bit of a breakthrough with my husband yesterday he acknowledged for the first time ever that he has been verbally abusive and i know that was hard for him to do (not making excuses for him)I have accepted that he has his own demons and that its not my fault and i refuse to let him bring me down.If thats the path he chooses to take hes going alone.I feel so much stronger today i hope this attitude stays with me im enjoying the confidence i am feeling.I hope you are well.Gabbi.
Gabbi,
I loved playing netball today. I was extremely nervous going to netball and my stomach was upset. I nearly drove straight home but I perserved. Once I was playing I forgot about everything and just had some fun. My 1st elbow surgeries was to reshape my elbow joint. My second surgery was to move the ulnar nerve to the inside of my arm and reshape my elbow joint again. It seems to have worked this time. My psychiatrist thinks that the surgery triggered my depression, anxiety and agorophobia. I would agree with that assumption.
I really do believe that you need to move away from your husband or at least your husband can move out of your house for a while and see how it goes. It doesn't sound healthy for either of you. You can't take anything he says or does personally, as he obviously has his own demons. You need to think of yourself and your kids and what is best for them. It is not your fault for anything that your husband does. He is disrespecting you and your children and that is not a healthy environment for anyone.
Take care - Sharon
Hi Sharon how did you go playing netball?I hope you did great its a big step to take when you have panic/anxiety/depression.I am glad i started playing again im still scared to go and scared while im there but i think it will get easier in time im hoping it does anyhow.2 elbow surgeries sounds painful what happened there?
Things with my husband have gone downhill again he has become quite abusive toward me these days alot has gone on the past couple of days which isnt helping my anxiety and depression i see my psychologist Monday i think i need some reassurance that its not my fault i wish i was a stronger person.Im trying to shield my children from all thats going on pretending that im ok my husband dosnt ever spend any time with them so they dont notice that he works more and is hardly ever here anymore anyhow enough about my pathetic existance i hope you and your family are well.Gabbi.
I have decided to play netball this Saturday. It will be a test as I haven't played for over a year because of 2 elbow surgeries. I play G.D. and I am looking forward to playing again.
I still go out every day and walk for 2-3 hours. It helps me clear my head, but I still self-consious of everything and everyone. I still haven't gone on public transport. I am going to try it next week. I am using the erxperiment form to help me. I find if I fill out the experiment form then I know I have to do it.
How are things with you and your husband? How are your kids? How many weeks until they are out of school for the summer?
Take care and I hope you are doing okay.
Sharon
Sharon my heart goes out to you,every post you write reminds me of something that i have or am currently going through.especially the not wanting to cry in therapy i had an incident just last week when i started crying and i felt humiliated that i did that i kept apologising and i felt so weak.
Can anyone go with you when you try the public transport i know when i do things that are scary for me it helps somewhat to have someone that i trust 110% with me.I know just how scary it is but i know you can do it :)
I dont know if theres a way to make the transition back into working any easier i havnt had to deal with that yet so let me know if theres anything i can help you with.
I usually play GA but i have gone into GS for a little while till i get comfortable with all the body sensations i feel.What position do you play?Talk to you soon.Gabbi.
gabbi,
Great progress! Keep us up to date and let us know more! Everyone can learn from one another :)
Don't forget to put your story in the success stories forum for all to appreciate :)
Josie
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The Depression Center Support Team.
