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for 18 år siden 0 81 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey Wishingwell, I am not trying to compare my situation to yours or anything but I can share with you my situation and hopefully it can help you in some way. I used to have the intense anger and suicidal thoughts when I was in the last throes of my marriage. My husband was (and still is) emotionally and mentally abusive. He was and is the cruellest man that I know. This torture was steadily escalating to physical abuse. It was a very toxic situation and there was no way out of it that I could see. I was very angry and hateful, depressed and not understanding any of it. Things finally became so awful (we had a lot of financial problems as well) that I knew that I had to either ask for a divorce or commit suicide. (This was my rational thinking at the time). As we have a son together I decided that the suicide route was not an option, and that as there was no way that he would ask me for a divorce (no matter how bad it got) I would have to be the bad guy. It was awful, frightening, painful, and the relief that followed was amazing. By finally standing up to him and somehow telling myself that I was worth more than he was telling me I was worth I felt so much relief I can't describe it. Now please don't think I am telling you to get a divorce or anything but somewhere there is a root to the anger you feel and once you finally dig it out and deal with it you will find that the anger will decrease. I can't say I don't get angry anymore, but I am able to control it now and it doesn't consume me like it once did. Please take care of yourself.
for 18 år siden 0 25 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wishingwell, "Anger is born out of being identified with the fear you feel when others won't conform to your point of view. Give up your anger towards others and yourself by seeing that the force of fear is not strength. Remember that for any and every action of force there is an equal and opposite one. This explains why the fighting never ends. let it end." The next time you feel yourself getting angry or upset step back, taking yourself out of the equation(anger,anxiety,etc. are not who you are) take a moment to understand what is happening and why. Then choose not to respond the way you have in the past. Allow something new (and wonderful)to happen. It may not be easy but if you persist it will happen. Persist. If someone punches you in the eye, then the resulting bruise is something you have no control of. Likewise, "no scowling face or irritated manner, no challenging posture or threatening tone has any power to make you feel nervous or anxious, frightened or angry. No human being has any authority over you. Your life belongs to you and you alone." Look - I'm not saying it's easy. But it is possible and will happen if you allow it to. You absolutety can and will create(positive)change in your life if you choose to. Choose to.
for 18 år siden 0 62 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Do you ever feel so much rage against someone that you wish evil things to happen to that person? I find myself in a situation that disturbs me as I am so bitter, angry and enraged with my spouse for talking to me daily sometimes only so he can blame me for things that go wrong in his everyday life. I didn't realize how much pent up anger I have been feeling until I just exploded and told him off. I feel like I have waisted my time even justifying why he hurts me with accusations, but he doesn't even think he is wrong to begin with. So any appology is useless and meaningless from him. I don't know how much longer I can pretend that everything is going to work out and I think about how I can get even with him like destroying his prize possession, his Harley Davidson motorcycle. I am not going to do anything, but I do have those thoughts that wish I could. I know that this anger is very much tied to my depression and suicidal thoughts, which I experience intensely when I get that angry. Sometimes it is just not worth the effort to defend myself or hope for him to change. I normally don't like to be in any confrontations with people as it upsets me more than the other person. I am trying to make myself more aware of these feelings so that I can utilize any coping skills that I have learned, but it feels like 2 persons pulling at me in different directions and the strongest one will win. Which one will succeed is what I can't predict at this time. Any help from anyone would be appreciated on how you cope with those intense angry feelings. Thanks again
for 18 år siden 0 62 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Liz, I have Instant Messanger, though I don't use it often, I don't have many friends that have it and really only one close friend in my life. I hope your move to Las Vegas went smoothly. I live in Florida. I too have been experiencing extreme bouts of inappropriate anger problems. It sort of started gradually when I suppressed my feelings over how my husband would talk to me. I use to defend myself, then I realized it was making things worse because he is incapable of communicating on most levels. Then I started sucking in all in and cursing him under my breath, with hateful words and thinking things I am ashammed to say. This rage continued to build until my depression just seemed to explode about two months ago. Since then, I've started on medication, go to therapy once a week and see a psychiatrist. The anger seems to be less because I have been keeping a journal on my computer and I write in it almost daily, then show it to my therapist who is a great listener. I believe that being able to release all those pent up feelings inside has helped, even though nothing has really changed with our relationship. I don't know if that will help you or not, but it's worth trying. If you or anyone would like to contact me personally I would love to hear from you all. There are a few other people on this website who seem to have a tranquil place to find some peace in nature and I wish I could transport myself there. Take care of yourself and nice to meet you at least online.
for 18 år siden 0 81 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Gabbi, I too do the same thing. Either keep it bottled up inside or blow up like Mt.St. Helens! One thing I have found that works for me (I know this is going to sound strange) I ask "In 6 months, is this really going to matter to me?" That usually is enough for me to calm down. Really with the way that my memory is, I will be lucky if I can even remember it in 6 months!! :p You might want to give it a try. Good luck!
for 18 år siden 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello everyone- I am sorry that all of you are going through such a hard time. For me my anger issue is I don't know how to be angry. Instead I hold everything in or blame myself for the problems. To that end I am going in two weeks to a day long counseling session to see how to deal with anger management. I am hoping it helps. I will keep all of you in my thoughts when I am there. Hugs,cj
for 19 år siden 0 53 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Currently in Denver, CO...re-locating to Las Vegas on Saturday. I saw that you'd tried to conatct me on Buddies...I was packing up some stuff. Back online right now...
for 19 år siden 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Liz, I would be happen to chat on-line with you. I live in BC, Canada. Where do you live? Sharon
for 19 år siden 0 53 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I feel so sorry for everyone I'm close to with these anger issues. My boyfriend and my son and all of my friends and family were so proud of me when I was working successfully and feeling good about life. It hurts so much that I have this man in my life who used to brag about me daily to everyone and tell me how beautiful I am every day. He's not very proud of me lately, and my stupid rages have made him embarrassed of me, instead. He helped to create the sorry state of financial problems we are having now, but I have behaved irrationally over it all and made the problems worse than they were to begin with. As a result of everything that's happened, I am moving back to the city where I was successful with my work, and he will not be there with me until his new job there is finalized in mid-January. I know that the time apart will allow us some time to work things out within ourselves, but I'm so scared of being alone. I guess all I can do is get started with healing myself, and hope that when we are re-united that I'll have released all the resentment. I know that all that's happening is for the best, and that I'll be that person he was so proud of again, but the path to get there is frightening. Do any of you have the IM option on this website? Does anyone use it? I am thinking that it may be helpful when I'm feeling lonely after this move.
for 19 år siden 0 207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for your replies anger is one of the issues i have the most trouble controlling and althouh its not an everyday issue when it rears its ugly head i feel totally out of control with it. i also destroy things whatever i can get my hands on i'll throw/smash then afterwards i feel like such an idiot for acting that way. I also do that too Kat it is ugly but i dont know how to stop it releases alot of anger for me but i know its not healthy.I know how rejected you feel when your husband does that my husband does those sorts of things daily i have taken it upon myself to not let what my husband does affect me(he is the main cause of my built up anger)hopefully that will help me cope a bit better.Gabbi.

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