i have just started (day three) with 150 mg sustained release daily and i can not believe how happy i am and how much energy i have. i am cleaning around my house and it is easy, EASY! i cant believe it, what a huge difference. housework was so hard before, such a terrible struggle. also, i am participating in activities with my family, enjoying them and even initating them. i always declined before and struggled with how much i loved my family but how little i could tolerate them. tonite is new year's eve and i do not have custody of any of my three kids from two marriages, but i have been too depressed to want to do anything. nobody invited me to anything anyway. my only option is to go out to a bar or a dance but i know the chances are good that i will not have a good time and will be irritated by the vulgarity of the people around me. even worse, i would probably get loaded and then have to drive home. very, very risky. but i am on meds and cant drink so instead.... i have invited my three kids and two exes over to my house tonite for a shared dinner and watching of the televised celebration. can you believe this! i know my exes are absolutely stunned that i would invite them over, and with kids, on new years eve for a small family party. this is even different from what i would have done before i got depressed. back then i self-medicated with alcohol and took risks that punished myself and my family. my exes are used to me spending all of my non-custody time partying as much as i can as far away from my family as possible. oh, i also got the idea to use the time together to go through the boxes of pics in the garage. ex number two has been asking me to do this and it should be a great activity for the evening. oh, and encourage my daughter to play her clarinet for all of us. what a great idea! and this next part i found even more amazing. yesterday i sat down to do my bills and discovered i had charged $1400 during the previous month. yikes! i had no idea, i was expecting $600-800. obviously this was very bad news. BUT IT DIDNT BOTHER ME AT ALL. i just sat down and analyzed all my bills that would be coming in and figured out what was going to be left. after all my bills were paid i discovered i will have to survive on $15