Hi Confused, I feel for you. I've felt a lot of frustration as well--for a number of years. I'm am seeing a therapist, but in my opinion, she is not very good and is so far from understanding what may be causing my depression. Lord knows i've tried hard to figure it out myself. In reality, we place way too much trust in doctors. They really know so little. I'm not putting doctors down or lumping them all as one, but my experience over 20 plus years of physical and psychological issues and yet the doctors have no answers. They are in a hurry, don't take the time, etc etc. I dont have an issue with trying an anti-depressant if the doctor actually cares and thinks it out and discusses with me. However, when I see my doctor every so often and she can hardly remember my name....well you have to wonder. But hang in there. You will make it. If I can make it thru this darkness, anyone can. I totally understand what you are saying about sleep. I havent slept well in years. I often wonder if all my depression is related to my lack of adequate sleep (not the other way around and doctors are so quick to assume). Take care in Canada. I live in North Dakota, not too far from the Manitoba border. Canada is such a beautiful country. Searchn4hope

I feel as though I'm groping around for the exit from a pitch black room littered with obstacles. I don't even know for sure that there is an exit or if I'll know the exit if I ever find it, but I'm too stubborn to give up hope although I'm extremely frustrated. Any advice or empathy would be greatly appreciated. Since 1999, when I first went to my doctor for help, I've been on Zoloft, then Paxil, then Effexor and now an Effexor/Wellbutrin cocktail. Three different doctors and a psychiatrist. The drugs all have an effect on me, just nothing that has actually been helpful. But the doctors simply tell me that I need a higher dose, so we increase and increase until I'm taking the maximum recommended amount, and then they shrug their shoulders and look at me as if I'm being difficult on purpose. And then they say that it's just a matter of finding the right medication and prescribe a new one. I've asked about therapy and they offer it themselves -- a form of talk therapy that goes in circles and accomplished very little. I still don't know if dealing with the after-effects of the emotional abuse from my ex-husband is the same as dealing with the burnout from my work is the same as dealing with the depression. I also can't remember the last time I awoke refreshed from a good night's sleep -- I know that sleep disturbances are a symptom of depression, but depression is also a symptom of sleep deprivation -- does it matter where my depression stems from or whether or not the chicken came before the egg? At the moment, I do the research and diagnosis and tell my doctor what I want and she signs the referral forms or the prescription or whatever. I have no idea whether I am doing the right thing or what I'm missing, but my doctor doesn't seem to be able to find anything wrong with my requests. Whether that's good or bad, I don't know that either -- I hate having to work in this pitch black room, but I don't know what else to do. There is an extreme shortage of doctors in Toronto, and nobody I know knows any good doctors who are taking new patients. I'm really, really tired of feeling depressed. Confused