> Which is where I am. Ready to start building, but afraid to start building. What if I come across something I don't
> know how to do, and everybody's looking to me to show them how. Best do it alone, then, rather than risk
> looking stupid. What if it doesn't work? What if, once it's all built, it falls over? What if it's not perfect – people
> walking by will know that I'm incompetent! What if green isn't the right colour for the roof -- would blue be more
> acceptable? What if... What if...
Hi confused,
As I promised I like to answer you.
Let me stick to this metaphor: The house you have to build is for you. Nobody else has to live there but you. If green is your favour colour it is the perfect colour for the roof. Do not try to build it alone. I have some experiences with it and a can not recommend it. If the house falls apart, it hurts you much more that the short moment you perhaps look stupid. Don’t forget: nobody is perfect! Anybody on the world is incompetent in a certain field to a certain degree. E.g. I accept that I have even a limited competence in the field I work for more than 10 years.
In contrast to you I’m not ready to start building. Though I have some ideas how to build - I do not find a suitable place for the construction site. I asked some people - who I really trusted - for help. All of them refused. That’s why I’m here: looking for help.
Putting analogies aside, it is a very strange situation. Any thing I tried to come out went completely wrong. It is as I could observe myself from outside. I know exactly what I do wrong but I cannot take corrective action. Now, after I start working with the CBT it become better but – as you certainly can imagine – there are ups and downs …
