No worries about advice or input, really. I love your replies. Plus, I know I am allowed to make up my own mind. But hey I don'T moind being mothered a bit . I really like that you care so much and find you to be an incredibly caring and compassionate person. So thanks again for your replies. I am taking your advice though and really trying as hard as I can.
Mom of 3 and Breanne,
I have taken me and my husband's first appointment to the councellor's today. It is later this month. I really hope it helps. Also, yesterday, we had a good talk and went to the restaurant. Today, he actually cleaned the whole bathroom! So there is hope I guess! He has said we will go walking together soon. It is late but we are waiting for it to cool down outside as it is sweltering hot today. All in all, I am hopeful today.
I am exhausted though as I have worked like a mad woman for my boss and in my house all day. Been at it since 8H30 am and just stopped. I get theese days where I am tense and anxious and I just push myself too much. Like I become hyper or something and can't seem to stop. The walk will do me good, help me evacuate stress.
Anyway, off I go. I will go relax and read before our walk. I need rest! So exhausted I feel like crying. Time to cut myself some slack!
Thanks for your reply, but do let me know if I'm out of line with a question or statement. I really want to help, but I have a tendancy to "mother" people, and just like a mom I get it wrong sometimes. I like to help and I'd rather not see someone take a road they wouldn't necessarily need to take. If it's necessary, you've done all you can, then you have to do what you must. If there's hope though, don't give it up. I'm pulling for you and your husband and really look forward to hearing about your progress
It's always nice to hear from you both. I did reply to Breanne's question under the success story forum and first good thing title.
I am so glad I found this site. It has been a great help to me and there are many kind people who will give you encouragement just when you're at "the end of the rope". I've been extremely happy to hear from everyone who has written to me.
Diva is extremely compassionate and I believe that she is doing everything she can to help herself with these issues. I'd love to see her be able to succeed here like she has through the Panic Center site. I'd like to help her with whatever I can.
I wish you both well. You deserve to be happy and to have the best relationship you can. Your husband being willing to go for counseling is a plus. (And thank you for your gracious reply, I'm always afraid I'll step on someone's toes but I'd hate to see you give up on something that could be wonderful if you both work at it)
Thank you so much for your reply! Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I do love my husband quite a lot. You are right, this is not a time for rash decisions. Thank you for reminding of all that :) When I get all worked up I feel like reacting instead of making proper decisions. It helps to be reminded that it is better to give it your all and make good decisions because one cannot go back in the past.
On the up side, I did have a good talk with him when I got home from work. I think it was productive. He agreed to go to counselling without needing arm twisting which is good. So that is where I am at at this point. Thank you again for your wise words and for sharing your experiences with me.
I'm not sure I'm the best person to give you advice. My own marriage isn't going very well right now, but I know that I want to do everything I can to avoid divorce. I have already been divorced and do not want to go through that again. I'm not saying that I wish I hadn't divorced because that one I needed. There was nothing there. This one, I love my husband and am not sure what is exactly the problem except the stress of other factors prohibit us from having a break.
My point is be sure that this is what you want. Is your marriage really that far gone or are there just issues that you need to work on together. If you really work on these issues and spend more time connecting it may work. Divorce just isn't any fun, especially if you have children, if you don't have children then it's easier to go your separate ways. But you really need to ask yourselves if that's what you want. Once you end it you'll never be able to go back and have things be the same between you.
Please think about it and see if you two can get help, let him know how you feel without being confrontational. If you love him it's worth trying.
Worked hard Friday and Saturday. Took a break Sunday. Am at work today and am getting my brain and heart ready to work hard yet again.
Am feeling down though as I am realizing that I am not sure things will get fixed with my husband. Will call a therapist today and see. I think I might be heading for a divorce. I can't take his gamer ways and attitudes anymore. I don't think he will change. I do still love him but feel I deserve to be with someone who will find me, us and our life together more important then escaping in video games. I love him and this makes me sad. Also feel very anxious as I am not sure how I would make it without him. I am a whole person and I do not need him to complete me and I will survive without him. What >I mean is logistically, financially, how will I manage. Will I be able to keep going to school without his financial support? I can't drive, how will I manage with shopping and groceries? etc...I wish this could resolve itself and we could be happy together. I do love him so. But I am tired of feeling like I am a puppy waiting under the table for scraps. Am I being to needy? I feel anxious and sad today. And tired. We fought I did not sleep well last night. Thanks for listening.
It sounds like you had a very good day! You'll eventually get your sleep schedule worked out and it will help tremendously. You're lucky to have a Mom who's there to help. Cherish her.
Keep us posted on your progress, you seem to do well with the recovery stuff since you've already made enough progress with your anxiety to move on. You should be proud of yourself, none of this stuff is easy.
. I really like that you care so much and find you to be an incredibly caring and compassionate person. So thanks again for your replies. I am taking your advice though and really trying as hard as I can. 
All in all, I am hopeful today.
