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One step forward, twenty back

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Mom of 3, How are you doing today? You have received lots of great advice and insight from members here and I believe the most important point is that communication between yourself and your husband is lacking and needs to be addressed. It might be a good idea to consider counselling...........perhaps a 3rd party is a good option so that your husband can really "hear" your feelings. Hang in there and don't give up. Faryal, Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi All,

Thank you for your comments. I wish I had better news tonight.

The rest of my day went pretty well and my training session was beneficial. It's too bad I don't have the extra money to have a personal trainer all the time. Oh well.

My husband was actually better to me yesterday and he made contact with me during the day without me doing so first. I was ecstatic! It made me feel so much better! However I should know by now that anytime my hopes get up it's time to be knocked down.

When I left work tonight I found out that my tire was flat so I pulled back into a parking space and saw the problem. I had been about to call my husband so I went ahead and did so. Since I've never had to change a tire myself before I asked him if he would talk me through it and he said no he'd just come to the office. Since it would take some time for him to get there and I did not want to make him spend is evening dealing with the problem I went ahead and changed it to the spare. I know I didn't do it exactly right but it was close enough and the tire was on. I called him to let him know and was treated like I was stupid again. I said I'd drive home on the spare and was told I couldn't just come home that the tire needed to be repaired. He said he was on his way and would take care of it when he got there. I felt crushed! The Fed Ex driver stopped to see if he could help but I had finished. He was impressed with my work!. When my husband got there he looked skeptically at the tire and said he didn't need to check it if the Fed Ex guy did. He treated me in a callous way and gave me many reasons why I should have waited until he got there. I told him I didn't want to be an invalid. He decided he was taking my car and the tire to the tire shop and I would take his car home. He had mentioned that he had spilled an old tool box in our driveway and thought that the tire was punctures by some of the debris.

I drove home numb and when I got home checked my phone and noticed I had missed his call - unsure how but that's a bad thing b/c he thinks I do it on purpose. ( I don't - I have to have the phone on vibrate at work and now that my clothes are looser I don't always feel it) Anyway, the first thing he said was he hoped I didn't park in our driveway - I did! He says he told me not to but I didn't hear him. Possibly I was already numb from the treatment when he came to "help"

The tire shop is closed so I will have to deal with it tomorrow anyway.

I have not seen him since, if he's home he is outside, it's been about 2 hours since I got home. I'm angry, I'm hurt and I don't understand the treatment I'm getting.

Sorry I'm complaining again!!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1693

Mom of 3,

Good for you for getting out and going to church. I am sure that you took a lot more away from the sermon than you think!

Also, congrats on losing some weight and being able to fit into smaller clothes! Good for you! That is honestly quite the accomplishment!

Like Diva said, don't ever feel bad for venting, that is what we're here for!

Stay strong, you'll get through this (and focus on the positive!)

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 538

Hello Mom of 3,

I am sorry to hear you have such a rough go of it lately. Between depression and health issue I can imagine things are tough to get through. As for having trouble getting started I totally get that.

I think is it great that you get another intro at the gym and glad you are fitting in smaller clothes. Way to go!

As for you coming here and venting please do not feel bad. We are all here for you.

I wish I had great helpful words to offer you at the moment. AllI can really say is hang in there and we are here for you. We can both do this!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Breanne,

Thanks for your post. I feel fortunate to have gotten an appointment fairly quickly and should have called for one sooner. I have a strong ability to deny things (even though I work in healthcare). Most likely it's a hormone thing and I'll have to make decisions on how I want to handle it. I'm hopeful there's an appropriate solution. Right now the problem is only adding to my other issues and since it's not going away and making me acknowledge it, things are feeling worse. It is just adding to my problems and has been for awhile but lately it has impacted me in ways I can't deny.

On the bright side I went to church this morning and the sermon was helpful. I am having a little trouble digesting it because I am so down. I did take notes and will review them during the week to see if I can apply the thought pattern - it's hard when I get this way. During the sermon I understood and it made sense but now I'm unable to call it up and apply it, I only hurt and feel overloaded right now. I'm sure it will come back once I can settle, I hope. I know it's not exactly that bright of a side but it's what I've got.

I FEEL LIKE SUCH A COMPLAINER!!! I just don't know how to get myself going again. It's frustrating and I'm sorry you guys have to hear about it. I just don't have another safe outlet right now SORRY!!

Possibly a bright side - I'm going to meet with my gym trainer today to go over some core training - (body and mind must work in the same way) The first trainer I met with was not very helpful - guess I wasn't the skinny gym bunny type. Another trainer approached me and found out that my introduction was not complete so now I'm getting another with a new trainer. I hope that it is beneficial and that I get a good plan idea. Like the mind issue, there are so many things written and so many differing ideas about what to do it can be confusing. Even if I don't have it completely correct I'm still losing weight and am wearing much smaller clothes. So a step forward with many make up steps to go before I get ahead.

Sorry about all the venting, I'll feel silly or ashamed later on - I always do. Thanks for letting me vent anyway, sometimes it helps just to let it out.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1693

Mom of 3,

I am so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well. I am however glad that you were able to make a doctors appointment. Hopefully everything will be alright. Try to hang in there in the mean time.

As you know, we're always here for you

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Diva,

I'm having some health issues atm and these are complicating my thought processes. I'm rather worn out from the battle of trying to deny I'm having a problem. I managed well during vacation, but it was easy to feel better there. Today has been particularly bad.

I do feel like I've made some progress with my issues but it's slow. It's even slower right now because I am feeling physically ill also. Some of it may be panic attacks but I know that my issue is more physical. I've been having worsening problems over the past few days and I realized today that I need to see a doctor sooner than I had scheduled. I was able to get an appointment in 2 weeks with a doctor I am told is very good in this field. I am hoping that getting this health issue under control will allow me to improve my thought processes also. Here's hoping.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 538

Hello Mom of 3,

I am sorry to hear you have been ahving such a tough time. I think you are on the right track when you say you want to get better and find a way out of your own issues. I think taking care of yourself is the first priority atm. Hang in there and please let us know how you are doing.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Thanks Josie,

I just finished writing a long "letter" to let my feelings out. Will I give it to him? I don't really know, would it do any good when just suggesting that he initiate a call or text first made him ignore me? I just want to get better, figure a way out of MY issues. I could possibly have a bone to pick then, if I didn't have so many issues for him to pick at.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12049

Mom,

You doing something for you and this is important. Communication is key and you have every right to concentrate and focus on you. Slow and steady will get you there and know that we are behind you.

Josie, Health Educator

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