In terms of your mom getting upset with you because she feels that you don't spend enough time together, why don't you plan an activity that just you and your mom will take part in, for example, once a week, go out for coffee, or dinner and a movie, so that she feels that you two are spending some valuable time together. Would this work?
I'm fighting with both. I have also a story of self-harming. It is obvious that when I get really depressed it is hard to control the other problems. I will eat everything at hand and start craving for physical pain. It is years that I'm not doing it anymore. but I still think of it. It is hard to ignore those feelings.
When I will be back in Rome I plan to start again to take care of me. Here with all the pressure from my parents is impossible. My mother even gets upset with me if I'm getting out with my friends because i don't spent enough time with her....
So this is my situation right now and I would like to get better some day. I hope.
The only thing that is positive is that my boyfriend is very supportive. I'm just waiting to return tu Rome and have a little freedom back again.