Diva, I know I am telling you things thta you already know. Depression does not equal lazy. If we had a choice - as you've indicated, you'd prefer to be doing the things you described. However, it isn't a choice. That does not make you lazy.
I do agree and didn't realize until I experienced my depression, that I must take care of me. If I dont' have me, I don't have family, friends, husband, cat, a house to clean, etc. You are prioritizing your tasks - can you see that? That is a positive step. You need to take care of you; the rest will happen.
Hang in there Diva- we are here for you. I took a bath last week. gonna take another one today. I'm doing a bit better. You know I found a girl who just needs help part-time, paid cash (I know, not right), but work when she calls and yes, it is a chore to make myself go, but enjoy the work. does not relate to my education any way what so ever. But it helps me feel better and I am contributing to my household of 1. I found this job through a friend of a freind. It's physical labor landscaping. It feels good to be physically tired and not mentally tired. I don't have to pretend, I can be grouchy, work slow, work fast, etc. I know jobs like that are not easy to find - but it is better than being mentially drained from work and the depression. Someone told me I was wasting my education.....I don't think so, it's mine, can't anyone take it away from me. Just an idea re: work.
Again, glad you are posting and letting us know what is going on.....worry about you when you disappear. Glad you are posting again.!
Thanks for keeping in touch.