Hey Mom of 3,
Thanks a lot for you support and advice. You are right, I did not deserve this. It means a lot to me, your post. It helped a lot. I don't know either why my hubby feels the need to yell and swear at me so much. And you are right, I do not deserve it. I don't deserved to be yelled at, sworn at or bullied into doing stuff his way. And yes, things won't change if I just give in. I keep trying to tell him yelling and swearing is not acceptable but he still does it. I guess he takes for granted that when all is said and done I will still be here and I will forgive him. /Sigh...
I wish we could have had an adult discussion about our savings but it is not meant to be. The other night, he came home from shopping and had calmed out and was being quite nice. I did not dare bring the subject back on the table though for fear he might yell again. So I just tried to enjoy the evening. We watched a movie. He did not apologize for earlier though and that really bothered me.
So the next day I tried to use I statements and I told him this: I was yelled and sworn at a lot yesterday. I felt hurt and sad and scared. I really feel the need to get an apology for it. So he did apologize. But then I still felt sad, because the savings are still where he wants them, I still had no say in it. And all I got out of all that was a stinking apology I had to F***ing ask for!!! I feel so little and stupid!
He has been quite nice ever since. I just don't know if that is because he is being careful or because I am being careful not to rock the boat... I did just ask him if we could talk about his behavior though and wow he does not seem pleased about it. Hope he doesn't yell again...
I don't know that this is abuse in my case but I do realize that it is unacceptable behavior. I will talk to him and bring it up in therapy and see what happens. But whether it is abuse or not, I am not good at standing up to conflict! So yeah, this is tough.
Besides that though, I haven't been doing to badly. The hubby's new job will help. Christmas time went really well. He still accepts to go into family councelling with me. I am sorting my own personnal stuff out.
Had a rough day today as I had several PA (panic attacks) this morning and that is always tough on me. But I am very proud to say I went to work despite the PAs and the fact I have only slept 2 hours. So yay for me! (patting myself on the back lol)
Well, I am off soon to go walking with a friend. So I will go check out other posts and all that till then!
Thanks again for the great reply.
WildCat,
Thanks for your support. Finances are a stress here for the moment, but there are alot of other underlying issues with us. I do hope we manage to fix it. I do have several other issues to fix and I am working on them. I think I am cleaning house and I am sure it will be very helpful in the long run. In the Now, it is kind of exhausting work to do but as I said, I foresee it will bear fruit!
Thanks again for the reply and the support it means the world to me.