Thanks so much for your nice note.I am really finding each hour hard to get through!I have had moments of relief on Monday.I felt better for 3 hours and felt that love for my kids again.Most of the time I am in my head thinking about how bad I feel and am.It hard to hold the good moments.
On a positive note I dont feel suicidal,which I have done earlier in the depression.It just feels so hard to cope and face.I have always felt good until now which seems to make it harder.I seem so obsessed all the time about the way I feel.
I am a male by the way and have 5 kids 14,12,10,4,4.
hi bp, you've come to the right place - believe me you are not alone in feeling like you do. guilt will eat you alive if you let it. how many kids and how old? i'm sure you love them - it's probably more like you doubt your abilities to be a good mom. i can relate. if you haven't used drugs in 7 years i wouldn't say that you are a drug addict. maybe a sex addict? never been a kind person? i can relate to that, too. sometimes i think i hate everyone and everyone hates me. it's the depression talking! give your kids a big hug and give yourself a big break. hang in there, keep talking, someone is bound to have the best advice for you. one thing i know for sure is desperate sucks - you need to find a way out of that feeling - it is the worst and it will keep you from getting ahead. try to get calm and think and then go hug your kids again!
I have justed joined this group and am feeling full of despair and totally hopeless.I am taking Prozac 30 in morning and mertazapine 15 at night and I am also seeing a therapist but I am feeling so bad its like a nightmare.My thinking is so negative,my biggest negative thought is that I dont love my kids because when I look at them I cant seem to relate to them and I am finding this really hard.Its like if I cant love my kids whats the point.I have o felt like this for 3 months when this depression started but I have beem unable to work,leave the house bearly and I only have only find moments of relief.
Its driving me crazy and I dont know what to do next.It started when I ended an 7 weeks addictive affair.I feel really bad about what i did but I dont understand why I feel so bad.My therapist gives me a different reason each time I see her.But the main one is I am a addict due to my past use of drugs (7 years ago) and the fact that I have had an affair.I have a lack of interest in life and have had stages when I have stayed in bed for days which makes me few even worse because allI think about is negative things about myself and that I have never been a kind person which I can start to believe,even though I know its not true.Please can you share your expierences as at the moment I am totally obsessed with getting better and all I can think about is me and the problem.This is just so hard and I am desperate.Thanks,hoping to become positive.RD
