Hi Everyone and Thank you for your support and encouragement.
I think I've become numb, or maybe apathetic towards him. I don't seem to hurt as bad and my days are filled with other things. But then I am not in that downward spiral now and can think clearer. I am not sure there is hope for us. There would have to be some major work done and not all on my part. I don't think I could "bury this hatchet" without some help. I think I'm so hurt that I can't hurt anymore. I still know that things can still change but I think I've given up hope. I no longer hang on his every word and am relieved when he leaves. I would feel guilty about this but I do not. I feel that I've given the relationship my best and if he can't see that then forget it! I don't even feel so bad about shutting down over my daughter. Anyone on my side would have enabled me instead of beating me down about it. Let's just say I'm to the anger phase of the grieving process now.