Usually October is when I begin to shut down. I grow fat and tired, and by November I am depressed till late March.
But this year... I was strange in October but relatively okay. November went by. December was crazy, as usual but I was prepared and I managed its energy. So now January, I feel like doing dishes three time a week!! I can keep reading terry goodkind's la pierre de larme (700+ pages). I can ask the kids about their day at school. And I am not, yet, falling asleep at work.
I feel like doing the usual day to day living, most of the time now. I am not just a dead lump of christmas coal!
It is a strange feeling. A small smile like thing at the back of one's mind. Oh there is a cup on the living room table, I'll put it in the dishwasher. wow. I do not have to fight to modulate the intensity, it is a good easy thing. I do not have to force it, it exists on its own.
ah yes ... i chose christmas and coal for that very image think about it for a moment...
ah yes ... i chose christmas and coal for that very image 
think about it for a moment...
