I guess I'm in the middle of challenging a negative thought. Maybe????
I've discussed recently about going to the therapist and then subsequently to my psychiatrist about my ups and downs. He wanted to think that I was bipolar and did not have MDD. I tried a new med, didn't have positive results after three days and we agreed I'd monitor my mood on his preferred chart (more paperwork) and then discuss when I return in February.
That's the foundation.....here's the challenge!
What if my ups are not the hypomania, but normal or my depression is better or waxing and waning at a noticeable level. I mean I am going to therapy, taking medicaiton, seeing a therapist, working this program, talking right here, working, dealing with my dad's recent death, my grandmother's current issues, etc. What if, I'm just getting some of the "old me" back and I've forgotten what that felt like.
Something that made me tap into this thought was something that occurred today; used to happen pre-depression. I was talking and someone said, wow, you sure do talk fast and use big words when you do. Anyway, back in the "good old days", people used to tease me that I talked to fast and I would joke that I couldn't help it if they couldn't hear as fast as I talk. It got me to thinking about other "things" I used to do. Like multi-task. Now I don't want to be too optimistic.....and those ups are few and far between at this point (but happen so frequently that I've noticed them). Maybe working on this depression stuff for all this time, is paying off.....What if?
And how do I know?
Insight?
