It sounds like you have been going through a lot of reflection recently. This can be incredibly important in your understanding of your experiences. This can also give you insight in what can be done in your own future.
How will you use this new information in your future? What can you do make the changes you want to see?
I just typed out a page of info about my depression and have come to a conclusion that my depression stems from the fact that the illness I had at age 12 compromised my education. My grades should have been 20 - 30% higher for all the effort I put in, and it was never enough. I struggled, blood sweat and literal tears, no one helped me, instead help was actually refused. I felt rejected, isolated, worthless back then. A comment on my gr11 phys-ed report from the teacher, this was now 4 years after being sick said I was the ONLY student of his that lacked stamina, needed frequent rests, and underperformed to my age level- at the time I laughed at it, but it was true. He said I needed to see a doctor. He recognized a problem, one that I was not allowed to talk about.
Today, I feel the same sense of helplessness as I did so many years ago, as I struggle to make a living in my career. If I had not been so sick, my career choices would have been different. Life is so friggin cruel and I do not know where to turn.
