Hello Karen,
Thanks for your support and your well wishes, I truely appreciate it! I will be going to see my doctor soon and I am sure she will help me with the throat and sinuses and everything. And yes, fluids and rest, I am really trying to tell myself I am allowed to take care of myself without feeling guilty or bad about myself.
Hello WildCat!
I have missed your wonderful caring insights. Thanks for the reply, and the support. And thank you for all the lovely compliments.
Yes I teach french as a second language to adults or professionals as you put it. And yes I guess they would rather I not give them this, especially since I have been dealing with this for over 3 weeks if not more!
And yes, my relationship issues have been tough on me and have taken a lot of energy among many things...As for the medication thing, yes it has been very difficult for me to deal with. It still is. As for flu and gastro, no kidding, I can't seem to stop getting sick since january!
As for my boss she is very nice. Which is why I feel so bad when I feel like I am letting her down...Plus I like doing things well and I do not feel like I am doing this well at all...
Once again thanks for all the encouragement and all the nice compliments and the support. Je suis très touchée par ta gentillesse et ta compassion. Il y a des journées comme aujourd'hui où l'on a besoin de support. Je te remercie. Je te trouve créatrice et intelligente et pleine de compréhension. Merci de partager tes pensées avec moi!
(I am very touched by your kindness and compassion. There are days like today where one needs support. I thank you. I find you creative and intelligent and full of understanding. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!)
I had a small breakdown this morning. I ended up talking with my husband. He was very nice and understanding. That meant a lot to me. It had been a long time since I had had a shoulder to cry on lately. We spoke about my energy levels and about work. He said he thinks I should not be working. The doctor put me on time off from school until I get over this depression but I went to work. He thinks I should take time off for real and rest and get better so I can go to school next year and do well since that is what I hope for. So after this session is over I will either only keep one or two students or just stop teaching completely.
This decision scares me a bit. I am afraid my husband and others will find me lazy and lame. I am afraid that, I don't know... it won't help. I am afraid it will look like I won't contribute to our life...
But at the same time this decision makes me feel better. I want to have time to well, sleep! I am so exhausted. When I have energy I want to use it to do stuff that makes me feel better, not on stuff that makes me feel worse and tired and empty. I want to have time and energy to take long walks, to see friends and family, to dance and sing, to do yoga, to make good food for me and my husband, to bake banana bread,...! I want to have time and energy to do therapy homework and get better.
I just don't know that I deserve it. I just feel lame and lazy and selfish...But my husband says it is the right thing to do and that I deserve it. And that he is proud of me and that in the long run the best thing I can do for the people I love is take time to get better.
My mind feels so clouded...But my mom seems to agree with him. And more time to heal sounds good. Am I being lazy and selfish?
, easily. With their salary, they can afford a few months sick leave and the family budget only gets a small blip. The rest of us have to roll the pennies and worry about bills and food. But if your husband has approached you to take a rest, well he must be thinking about what is really important. YOU! and without your health there is no you!
