I totally agree with Ashley. You are being very harsh on yourself. As for your friend ever thought she might wish she had the nerve or possibility to take time off like you are and that she is envious? Anyway, whatever her reasons are just ignore her. You are taking time to make yourself better and that is what counts!
At the moment I am taking time off too. I quit and my ex-bosses are very annoyed. That means I have no job to go back too. Well, so what. I am decided to cut myself some slack. You know what my health comes first! And yours does too!
Many people tend to focus on the negatives they hear from individuals and not the out numbering positives they hear from many others. It seems to me that you are using your time off effectively. You are taking steps to get yourself well. Sometimes it takes longer then others. Additionally your therapist is not concerned.
The question is though, how do you feel? Do you feel you are trying your best? If you are happy with your efforts try not to let others bring you down. If not then set goals and discuss with your therapist other things you can be doing to get well. In either case don't feel bad about where you are now. This will get you no where and perhaps make the situation even worse.
Don't doubt yourself. Make a list of what you have accomplished in terms of mental health this year. Irrational thoughts you have realized, articles you have read, meditation, self awareness, time with family, rest, anything that made you feel happy or pushed you towards your goal. Focus on what you have accomplished not what you haven't. Each day try to do one thing that will make you feel accomplished. If that is lying down and looking at the clouds then so be it! Not all goals can be measured!
Stay strong dragonfly! You will get there and we will be here every step of the way.
I've been off work for 13 months now and I feel like I'm no better now than I was this time last year - which is making me feel even worse because I have a tendency to ruminate. I have started working on this issue with my new therapist so am trying not to beat myself up when I find myself slipping back into old habits but I'm finding it hard to stop. No one is giving me a hard time about being off work for so long - not my therapist, my psych doc or my family. They tell me they just want me to get better and to do whatever it takes to get there.
However, I do have one friend (who also suffers from depression) who tells me she thinks I'm "milking the system for all it's worth" and won't go back to work until my disability insurance runs out. Those are the words I keep hearing when I start thinking about where I am right now. I don't think I'm doing that so why doI listen to the one negative comment instead of all the supportive ones? Why do I give her words more weight than any else's?
Not all goals can be measured!
