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for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1693

Wow furgittit! Seems like you had a lot on your plate....however it also seems like you are coping quite well

I didn't know you were a mechanic on the side

Have you been reading through the program? Take a look at the sections on "Worry" and "Relaxation Techniques", they may be helpful.

Hang in there,

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Diva,

Thank you for being impressed, upside of doing it all, ego boost, downside, exhaustion.

Being our mechanic/handyman/do-it-all person has been my job since the beginning of time, some of it I enjoy, most of it lately, I resent. I get so tired of no-one else doing, not necessarily because they don't want to, but that they don't know how to (duh, look at the book, that's what I do) or we can't afford to pay a professional to do it.

My work is pretty understanding, I would love to be able to ask for a month off (preferrably 6 months) to get my sh** together and rest but I can't afford the time off, I wouldn't get paid for it and I am the only one working in my house.

And then there are the other two ladies who work with me I know the one would understand, with a little resentment, but the other, well, I don't think she actually thinks about things before she speaks, it's like real life has never actually touched her and she knows it all, she has similar experiences and uses comparisons like my husband has been depressed for years, he has been on prozac, his has a chemical imbalance, his brother killed himself. Yours is situational and will blow over quickly. Or she says really stupid things (she does payroll and knows how much $ I make) like what year is your van? 99, oh well you should have bought something newer last October. AARGH it gets so frustrating.

I am at the point again, where I don't want to get out of bed and it is becoming increasingly difficult to just do that, ahh to lay in bed, play video games and read books all day. Or stay home and bake goodies for the kids. Or go out for lunch with my hubby. Or not worry about the next letter or Affidavit or phone call or what others may be thinking.

I may just talk to my Psychologist to see if maybe I can qualify for a temporary disability thing with EI or AISH or something, I don't have disability insurance through work. Just so darn tired.

Here I go running on again.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 910

Wow Furgitit,

Sounds like a tough time! Hope you are feeling better now. Oh and I must say I am impressed at your mechanic skills! I am sure your work understand that you were sick but I get the anxiety thing. Please keep us posted on how things are with you.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Well, I have been sick for a week with the flu, I couldn't even get out of bed most days so no work, guilty feelings about not being at work and anxiety over the nasty thoughts that come into my head ie. losing my job etc. So my heart has been racing and I feel like it may explode, the headache is terrible.

I was feeling good over the weekend, still tired but workable. Sunday night, my van decided it was going to peeeeeeee and peeeeeee. So I had to call in to work and let them know that I wouldn't make it on Monday, because I had to fix it. So Monday, I fixed the leak. I took it for a test drive and with all the rad fluid all over the motor and electrical components, it decided to go funky, and become possessed, lights on off, buzzers on off freaky surges in gas etc. So I got home and parked the bugger and turned it off. Stupid thing wouldn't start again.

I rinsed off the motor and electrical components and let it dry for hours and hours, got it started yay. Slept in today, the van wouldn't start again, got a boost, borrowed a portable booster, got to work @ 11:00. Submitted my timesheet (I hope I get paid for my sick time (usually do) but as usual anxiety is lurking there). No-one has said anything bad about my missing work last week, still anxious stressed, headache, shaky.

What next????

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 456

hi furgetitt,

I hope you know that I will tell you when you have offended me. My response will be curt and short... Right now with the kids in the spring-time virus mode and my husband in the spring-time income-tax-frenze (his christmas!!!) I am up to my ears in compost

Spring is that rush in energy that i am not equiped to deal with. I repressed all emotions since I was a teen to survive my parents and their couplings. So the intensity is a lot for me now and I am like my 6 yr old learning to deal with everything when I am an old dog

with a new trick...

When I mention there is a lot on your plate, it is to remind you that you have a lot of stressful events in your life. You need to deal with smaller protions at a time. This is not a chinese buffet where you have to cram as much as you can during the 45 minutes you are there for 9.95$. Take one issue at a time the others will not magically grow into two. But you will have to prioritize and that is what I might be able to help with... the appetizer or entree is the stuff that is small but past-due and smells to high heaven ( like my son's snails in garlic butter that triggers my husband's allergys).

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

cont...

What I would say to someone who just said what I said, I would say, soul-mate, wow, I am not the only one who thinks like this and instead of brushing it off (like I have been in the past), I would say, come let's talk about it and see if we, together, can come up with some ways to get past this. When asked to teach, I would draw from personal experiences, rather than quote from studies (as you know, I believe studies are not honest, realistic or valid).

When asked a one on one question, I would definitely need to provide my own tried and true theories and not some rhetoric spouted to me that "should" work, "proven" to work or other information spoon fed to me by those in power.

I do understand that these studies are performed by the strictest of codes and that everyone needs to eat and therefore get paid for their work and I don't fault the people for performing these studies and putting their own twist on things. Everyone is unique that way and is entitled to form their own opinions and theories. Heck if paid enough, I would swear under oath, on the stand that little green leprechauns have the cure for depression and if you can catch him and put him in a cage and feed him only toenails, he will keep you happy, healthy and free of any ills for the rest of his life. (Little St. Patty's day humour, my St. Patty (son) is 6'5" not so little).

Again, I would like to apologize if this post seems angry at all, I can see that it may, I just don't know how else to put my point across so as not to offend anyone. Thanks for listening and have a good night.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Breanne, thank you for your post. My post may seem angry and I do not mean for it to come out that way. I appreciate your insight and am just trying to point out that variety is appreciated as well.
While most often the words of encouragement can and are appreciated there are occasions when one has heard it too many times and feels that they are being brushed off with the same platitudes one gives a small child and not an adult.

As for a quick fix, that would be wonderful, I do believe that with all of the changes and trying things that everyone is saying that I should see some form of improvement or some tiny improvement, not leave me to wonder if this is going to fix it or if I am just following because they say I should.

I would like for some teaching in how to deal with the past in order to proceed with the future. Positive thinking, and faking it until you make it are lies and they teach use to hide from the truth rather than deal with realty and move forward with our lives to be more productive for ourselves and others. I have been faking it for many years, and believe once I stopped faking it, I felt better about myself and am attempting to deal with realty how it actually is/was rather than how I am supposed to perceive it.

cont...

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

furgitit,

Interesting points. A few things first, depression unfortunalty does not have a quick fix, as much as we would like to offer one to you sadly it doesn't exist. Often times venting and discussion are theraputic in their own rights and when someone says "sounds like you are going through a lot," you know that their intentions are good and they are doing their best to listen to you. In a way its nice that they care to listen and appreciating this is a positive way of looking at it. If they had the perfect response I am sure they would be happy to give it.

But as I write this post I am wondering if its the response you are looking for. To be honest I would like to hear from you. From someone who is going through a difficult time. What would you say or what advice would you give to a dear friend who was going through the same issues as you? Everyone please consider. It would be interesting to hear all the great things others have to say.

Thank you in advance for taking the time and the effort to really think about what you could say to make a difference to someone.

Ashley

Here to help :)

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Breanne, thanks for the encouragement, but I am sick of all the challenges/changes and I just want to take a break and catch my breath before the next terrible thing happens. Still gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now (not to the bathroom).

I have gone over sessions 4 and 5 and believe me, it is going to take more than 2 weeks of homework and 15 minutes of reading to make me come around. I don't see a difference and I am a very results oriented person. If I don't see results, (in a reasonable amount of time (sooner rather than later) then it isn't doing anything for me. I don't have time to wait 6 months for something to work, I need to deal with the here and now, here and now, in 6 months there's going to be a whole new pile of here and now to be dealt with.

Being positive for others is much easier than being positive for yourself, everyone says, "sounds like you are going through alot right now". This is not supportive, it is pointing out the obvious. The thing is, I have found that most people don't want to look back over the entire pile, they seem to be more into covering up the pile, than deal with the crap before using the fertilizer. Kind of like helping someone deal with their past experiences in a more helpful way and teaching them how to use these experiences to propel them forward and make them more capable of dealing with the piles in a more manageable way. Kind of like composting, if you just let it sit and decompose, there is a big stink, you must stir it and throw in the worms and take care of the pile before you throw it in your garden to grow something good.

Yikes, too much swimming and shovelling this weekend, sorry for the bi**** attitude thrown in above.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1693

furgittit,

Sounds like a great challenge...you can do it!

When so many negative things happen in your life, I agree, it is hard to put a positive spin on things. However, it seems like things are going well, so why not work on challenging your negative thoughts!

We're here to support you every step of the way. Be sure to go over sessions 4 (Negative Thoughts) and 5 (Challenging Thoughts) in the program.

Good luck, and keep us posted on how you are doing,

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

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