Im not sure if its just now or what, but I see all these people on twitter and well allover and they smile, look happy. Some are coaches for this stuff, but so many seem to just have it all together, have a life. I want that too! Real bad. I want my kids back and I dont ever want to feel alone again. I will do anything I can to have a life again. I just need to know what it is. I will do what I can everyday, not sure if it will be right but I will do anything. This was a very hard Christmas, all I did was thing about my Son and Daughter. It was hard.