My problem is being a realist. I am not artistic, like my sister and aunt, I can't let the housework go and neglect my children and their needs and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry, like my mom, I can't drink myself into a numbness like my dad used to. I cannot bring myself to use illegal drugs as a crutch as my aunt and uncles did (do). I cannot ***** myself out for money, jewellry, drugs and whatever other material things my ex-step-mother *****s herself out for. I believe these people are more able to turn it off, because they aren't the ones taking care of everything and being responsible for everything, they are the ones capable of running away and hiding from reality and responsibility and leaving "it" to people like me who they know they can fob it off on.
I see everything for what I percieve it to be, sure I can point out the good to other people and advise others to be optimistic and that they will get through it, but when it comes to myself, I cannot see the hope, I cannot see the brighter side/silver lining. I lie to others saying we will get through this, things will work out etc. But deep down I know they will not.
Today is a bad day, for no particular reason (could be the snow, could be because I am tired, could be the crappy weekend I had, sure things got done, but my husband was an a**, could be anything), I am feeling extra sad and alone today.
I am trying the Good Things list in hopes that it may boost me and others to see past the black veil covering everything (and to brag a little).
like most days are. 
You are responsible and you are not running away or trying to mask reality like others in your family have done...and that is definitely something to be proud of. 
